Donald Binks' Diary

Christmas Greetings 2011

2011-12-24T21:15:00.001+11:00

The Fast Train's On Again - Or Is It?

2011-08-05T10:32:00.002+10:00

Guess what? The Federal Government's talking about a fast train again - linking Melbourne, Canberra, Sydney and Brisbane - with a few important stops along the way.

Now, I'm old enough to remember when they first started talking about a fast train in the 1970's. By the 1990's there was a consortium formed who were just about ready to build one - they were hanging on John Howard's Government to give them some tax incentives - of course he didn't and the whole project collapsed.

Move along twenty years - and twenty million dollars later (after the inevitable feasibility study) and the plans are on again - or are they?

God knows a fast train linking these cities is needed badly and should have been in place long ago - and could have been had some members of the Federal Gasworks in Canberra been far-sighted enough.

A fast train travelling at 340kph would give a travel time between Melbourne and Sydney of three hours and the same time between Sydney and Brisbane.

If you consider the convenience of getting to a railway station in the centre of the city of departure, travelling in comfort and arriving in the centre of the city of arrival - woould you not think that this mode of travel far outweighs travelling in an aeroplane?

You don't save any time going by air - you have to travel all the way out to an aerodrome and get there at least an hour before the aeroplane is due to go up, stand in queues and go through all the other frustrations associated with air travel. Then, when you land, you have got to travel again from an aerodrome into town. It's just plain silly - especially if a train ticket is not going to cost you any more than an aeroplane ticket.

The fast train project will cost billions and take 25 years to build. (Well I suppose it would take this long if the Government is left in charge - it would probably be up and running a lot sooner if in private hands). Considering our Governments can think up so many useless things to spend out hard-earned money on - let us hope that this time around they might actually spend those dollars on something that is not only worthwhile but vital. We must be the only country in the world that does not have a fast train service anywhere.

Get in touch with your Federal Member of Parliament and tell them to get this thing built!

Nathan Avarkian Wows an Audience in Malvern

2011-07-28T11:12:00.006+10:00

Last night I motored down to Malvern Town Hall in order to hear the American Organist, Nathan Avakian play the Compton organ. I had heard him play in the U.S., last year and he certainly impressed with his skills at such a young age.

When you think of it all the great cinema organists of the past learned their skills rather young - and the hard way - they were put in front of a Laurel and Hardy and told to accompany it. The audience would let them know whether they were successful or not.

Thankfully Nathan has not been put through such hard ropes and instead has been progressively learning all about the organ since he was a wunderkind. At the moment he receives tuition from Donna Parker who has had and still enjoys a successful career as a cinema organist.

The thing I admire about some people is that they can do more than one thing at a time - and I don't mean chewing gum and farting. Nathan impresses further in that he seems to be able to do half a dozen things at once. I have seen very few people who have such a skill as to be able to utilise both feet playing the pedalboard with such discipline whilst both hands are engaged on the manuals and stop tablets. I have difficulty in even finding the right pedal to hit without a quick glance down to see my foot is in the right position - Nathan can do it as if he were blindfolded.

The trick in playing the cinema organ is to use it to its full advantage as a virtual one-man orchestra - well, let's face it the proper name for the instrument is a 'unit orchestra'. You can separate all the units that make up a melody, such as accompaniment, melody line, harmony, rhythm etc., by doing your handiwork and footwork around the keys and pedals. You can also bring in the many instrumental sounds as feature in an orchestra - either in combination or in solo. Some organists like to muddle the combinations in order to make a loud noise without realising that at times a solo instrumental can be so subtle and so succinct. Either that or they make the organ sound like a glorified accordion or hurdy-gurdy.

Nathan utilised some very interesting orchestrations - proving that there is still room to experiment on these instruments. His pianissimos using at times the enclosed chrysoglot were quite appealing. He also proved that a cinema organ was quite capable of rocking away to some of the more modern repertoire - even though the names of the selections went above the heads of most of the audience still listening to Bing Crosby and Ella FitzGerald on their wind-up gramophones. To assist with these rock numbers, Nathan has put down a backing track on his laptop - this consists of all the boom-boom business of loud drums etc., - he fills in with the rest of ditty on the organ. One shouldn't pooh-pooh this organ with boom box type of thing - it may be what's needed to capture younger audiences to the mighty cinema organ!

Nathan must be one of the few people still around scoring silent pictures. he works with young film-makers at college who have made short silent pictures - of three minutes in length and he writes and plays the music to them. He says that these young people are spellbound when sitting in the cinema watching the films on the big screen and seeing him there live, playing the accompaniment on the one man band. We saw three of these films and they were quite good considering some of them were made by 13 year olds - it also proved that music is such an important factor in films. Nathan's scores accompanied well.

Nathan's selections ranged from an opening march from Disney - one more Disney piece, a few classical numbers, an updated "Flight of the Bumble Bee" - now called "Bumble Boogie", a couple of Jazz pieces - one played on the piano, some Gershwin - a nice arrangement of "Embraceable you" and the highlight of the night - well for me - a selection from "42nd Street" which was arranged and played superbly.

A nice night's entertainment - just a pity there weren't a few more in the audience.

The Westpac Bank shows it is stupid as well...

2011-07-26T14:34:00.001+10:00

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die!
This is so priceless and so easy to see happening - customer
service, being what it is today!

A lady died this past January, and WESTPAC bank billed her for
February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and
Then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance
had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to the WESTPAC Bank: *

Family Member: *
'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.' *

WESTPAC: *
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply.' *

Family Member: *
'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.' *

WESTPAC: *
'Since it is two months past due, it already has been..' *

Family Member: *
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?' *

WESTPAC: *
'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to
The credit bureau, maybe both!' *

Family Member: *
'Do you think God will be mad at her?' *

WESTPAC: *
'Excuse me?' *

Family Member: *
'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . The part about her
Being dead?' *

WESTPAC: *
'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.' *

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: *
'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.' *

WESTPAC:* **
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply.' *

Family Member: *
'You mean you want to collect from her estate?' *

WESTPAC: *
(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?' *

Family Member: *
'No, I'm her great nephew.'
(Lawyer info given) *

WESTPAC: *
'Could you fax us a certificate of death?' *

Family Member: *
'Sure.'
( *fax number is given *)

After they get the fax: *

WESTPAC: *
'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I
Can do to help.' *

Family Member: *
'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing
Her. I don't think she will care.' *

WESTPAC : *
'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' *

Family Member: *
'Would you like her new billing address?' *

WESTPAC: *
'That might help.' *

Family Member: *
' Rookwood Memorial Cemetery , 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney Plot Number
1049.' *

WESTPAC: *
'Sir, that's a cemetery!' *

Family Member: *
'Well, what the f**k do you do with dead people on your
planet?'.............

Troubles with the National Australia Bank AGAIN!

2011-07-26T11:56:00.006+10:00

Yesterday I had programmed for a payment to pay off my Business Visa Account from my Business Account.

I went to check my account today and found the payment had not gone through and I had received a notification of non-payment

This is despite my account being in credit, albeit I paid in a cheque yesterday for most of that balance which were "uncleared funds"

I rang up the number quoted on the non-payment advice to find out why this particular payment had been rejected as on previous occasions when I have had "uncleared funds" - debits have been paid on my account. Further,I had
sufficient funds in my personal account - to cover the cheque paid in should it have been dishonoured. Surely this offset would have been taken into account?

Now, I wouldn't have minded so much if the payment had been refused - it is just that it is an inconsistent practice - in that as I have stated, past debits have been allowed against "uncleared funds"

After going through two different departments on the 'phone all I could find out was that I was being penalised because two debits drawn by third parties had hit my account and caused it to overdraw for small amounts - which I corrected the next day.
(I have people drawing for commission payments - I never know for how much or when they are actually going to hit).

The bank of course can't enlighten me as to when their rules applying to my account were changed - and why nobody has had the courtesy to inform me prior to something like this happening?

Today I have transferred $229.53 from my personal account to my business account so that I could then transfer the same amount from my business account to my visa card.

Remember the days when the bank manager would ring you up and you would have a polite natter whilst he would tell you that he had a cheque of yours in front of him that would overdraw the account? You would explain the situation and he'd let the cheque go through because he knew you and knew you'd fix things up. Not now - everything is centralised at some unmarked building probably on the outskirts of Alice Springs. Nobody knows you - you have to answer a whole string of questions to identify yourself every time you ring up - and of course - the bank is correct in everything they do and how dare you question them!

* As a follow up - I had a call from my Bank Manager who finally explained to me that when paying a credit card by transfer from your bank accounts - the funds have to be cleared funds. It is the only exception - so remember this in your future dealings so that a similar rejection doesn't happen to you.

A Pacific Dollar

2011-07-21T07:54:00.003+10:00

One of the bugbears of travel is the need to change currency when going overseas. Having different exchange rates is also a problem as far as trade is concerned. One day the importers are waving flags and at the same time farmers and others who export are in the doldrums.

In the Pacific area there are a number of nations who could group together with a united currency. I have in mind the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, China, Japan, Malaysia and Singapore for a start.

The only people who profit from all these different currencies to my mind seem to be the banks and speculators. My bank charged me $8 to convert Australian banknotes to US bills and then another $8 to convert the US bills back to Australian banknotes. Add to this the extra they collect by working the exchange rates in their favour and the added fees for having foreign currency transactions on your credit card. Don't you think this is somewhat ridiculous?

In a historical context the ridiculousness of having separate currencies can be seen in the myriad of German states before unification where you could travel only say 10 kilometres before finding yourself in a new duchy or principality and having to change your florints into talers. Luckily someone with some sense in 1871 decided on a single currency when the German states united. That common sense was carried forward when the European states united with a single currency - the Euro. How much easier it all is!

Why don't we now have a Pacific dollar? Are we all so stupidly nationalistic that we need to have something symbolic on a banknote that is representative of our own country? Could we not forgo that sentimental jingoism in order to make our lives easier? The coinage of course could be like that of the Euro and depict something applicable to each separate country on one side.

I suppose bureaucracy will get in the way of common sense. There will be screams that the greenback is the only currency Americans know - well it has only existed in its current form since 1934 and is not the most friendly of currencies with all notes the same size and colour virtually. Then there will be the argument for the new plastic money and so on and so forth and all the while, we the people will be the ones continuing to suffer.

We have to overcome the pettyness and look to the big picture. Hopefully one day common sense will prevail and a common currency will exist in the Pacific area.

H.I. & R.H. Archduke Otto von Habsburg is buried

2011-07-17T13:49:00.006+10:00

In a moving ceremony The Herald knocks three times at the door of the monastery seeking admittance of the remains of Otto von Habsburg. The first time when asked who is there, he recites all the titles by which Otto von Habsburg was properly known. He is not given admittance as they do not know such a person. The second time all Otto's achievements in life are recited, again he is refused admittance, no such person is known. On the third time when asked who is there, the Herald says, "a mortal man and a sinner", as such Otto is finally given admittance and is buried in the Habsburg crypt alongside his wife who died last year.

For one brief moment, Vienna was again at the centre of an Empire and we had a glimpse of what might have been. We shed a tear for the man who was denied his proper place on the throne but nonetheless served his peoples well. He will be remembered with love, affection, admiration and respect.

To those Austrians who have denied Otto his rights in the past and continue to bear resentment - may you all be ashamed, for you will never achieve as much as he.

In final honour - the Kaiserhymn!

Funeral-Programm für K.u.K Otto Erzherzog von Habsburg

2011-07-16T13:18:00.004+10:00

Samstag, 16. Juli

15.00 - 17.00 Requiem in Dom St. Stephan, Wien
Hauptzelebrant: S.E. Kardinal Dr. Christoph Schönborn

17.00 Beginn des Konduktes zur Kapuzinergruft
Der Ablauf im Einzelnen:
9.00 Sperrung des Domes
11.00 Sperrung des Platzes vor dem Dom; Zugang nur noch über Checkpoints.
(Siehe Zutrittsplan)

13.00 - 14.30 Einlass auf den Platz (für geladene Gäste, Orden, Couleurträger und
das Bundesheer) über die Checkpoints.

Der Zugang zum Dom erfolgt ab 13.00 über:

CP 6 für VIP-Gäste mit Wagenkarte, Eingang über Primtor
CP 1-5 (Ecke Kärntnerstraße/Graben) und das Primtor (für geladene Gäste mit
Sitzplatz)
CP 7-8 (am Adlertor/Schullerstraße) und das Riesentor (für Gäste mit Stehplatz
und Medienvertreter auf der Empore)
CP 7-8 und das Adlertor/Schullerstraße (für Medienvertreter vorne im Dom,
Fahnenabordnungen und Ehrenspalier)

(Siehe Zutrittsplan)

13.00

Formierung der Formationen (militärisch, Schützen, Studentenverbindungen) am Stephansplatz / Schullerstraße

14.30

Ende des Einlasses für ALLE

15.00 - 17.00 Requiem in Dom St. Stephan, Wien
Hauptzelebrant: S.E. Kardinal Dr. Christoph Schönborn

17.00 Aufstellung des Kondukts (siehe Konduktaufstellung und
Konduktreihung)

17.00 Beginn des Kondukts in Richtung Graben (siehe Konduktweg)

ca. 19.00 Ankunft des Kondukts am Neuen Markt (siehe Aufstellung Neuer Markt)
Zutritt zur Kapuzinerkirche nur für wenige geladene Gäste und zur Kapuzinergruft nur für die engste Familie. Zutritt zur Kapuzinergruft für die Öffentlichkeit ab Sonntag Vormittag.

Sonntag, 17. Juli

15.00 Requiem in der St. Stephans-Basilica, Budapest

Rückmeldungen bitte an budapest@ottovonhabsburg.org
Anschließend: Beisetzung der Herzurne von Dr. Otto von Habsburg in der Benediktinerabtei Pannonhalma im engsten Familienkreis

RACV - Complete lack of service!

2011-07-14T14:17:00.003+10:00

At 12.30pm today, I rang to get help as my car was bogged off the driveway. I gave details of the car to the operator.

At 2.00pm the man arrived. I walked down to see him. He couldn't even be bothered to acknowledge me as he was on his mobile 'phone. Eventually I went back into the house.

I then saw him, walking about in front of the house - was he incapable of getting to the front door? He told me I needed a tow truck - surely that could have been sent in the first place?

He then said it would be another hour before it would be here. I was going out at 3.00pm - so I said to send it around in the morning. I was informed I would have to ring up and order it. I waited on the 'phone for ten minutes to book the tow truck and was then told by an equally rude person on the 'phone that I had to ring up myself in the morning.

I suppose I have been spoiled in the U.S., where service is paramount and everyone is well-mannered. To come back to Oz and put up with treatment like this is insufferable. I have been a member of the top grade of RACV roadside assistance since 1996 and it's about time I was given service commensurate with what I pay them.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 22

2011-07-12T22:22:00.002+10:00

I awoke from a very nice sleep at about 10.00aqm Los Angeles time (about 2.00am Melbourne time) and did my ablutions before anyone else had decided to arise. I then plugged my laptop into the electric socket on the chair – yes they have mains electric on the aeroplane! – and got on to writing away. One thing I must say about this aeroplane is how much quieter it is. Whilst you can still hear the noise of the engines it is much more muffled and sounds more like gas rushing through a pipe.

I had quite a long sleep and then woke up and watched a picture called "Paul" about a wise-cracking alien. before dozing off again before breakfast.

We had given our breakfast orders in the night before, so what was put in front of me didn't represent what I ordered. I had wanted plain fruit, muesli with yogurt and then toast and jam with tea. Instead I got fruit and yogurt, smoked salmon and scrambled eggs and black coffee. Obviously all the orders got mixed up - anyway I didn't say anything and just ate what was put in front of me - however I did ask that the coffee be replaced with tea.

Eventually we landed and the whole experience of going through immigration, quarantine and customs was all over in a breeze, the whole undertaken carried on with professionalism, courtesy and efficiency. Full marks Australia!

I tried to ring the Ballarat shuttle service, but there was no one answering - just a message service. I did though find out that there wasn't a service between 9.40am (the time at the moment) and 12.15pm when I was booked to leave - so I would have to wait!

I managed to fill in the time wandering around, changing my money, observing the many types of traveller and official and having a cup of coffee and a bun.

The Ballarat Shuttle was not the usual little van but a huge bus. When I got on I found that all the single people had occupied the two seats by placing themselves on one and a bag on the one next to them. The typical unfriendly and unhelpful gesture undertaken by ignorant Australians whilst travelling on public transport. I asked one woman if she would mind removing her bag, which she grumpily did and I could sit down.

Of course we then had to wait for late-comers who boarded the bus without any word of apology for keeping us all waiting. Another time when John Cleese would have been helpful. "I suppose you know we've all been waiting for you?" "All these people managed to get on the bus on time!"

We eventually left and stopped only at Bacchus Marsh arriving in Ballarat at 2.00pm to a cloudy sky, spitting rain and a temperature of about 10 degrees. A bit of a contrast.

I picked up the car and drove to the kennels where a very happy Bart was very pleased to see me.

I drove home and Bart seemed to find himself in his old ways again very quickly. It's good to be home - to be in familiar surroundings and above all - to be away from the hurly burly and crowds of people. It's nice to be alone again in peaceful surroundings. After about ten minutes it didn't feel as though I had been away at all...

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 21

2011-07-12T22:19:00.001+10:00

I am still awaking at odd hours during the night and dozed from about 5.00am onwards.

I walked across the road to Grauman’s Chinese Theatre where already a crowd was gathering. “Oh Look there’s….” and the name of some new star completely lost on me was discovered.. To look at the new names they were all standing on the names of the people I knew – the big stars like Charlie Chaplin, John Barrymore, Eleanor Powell and so on. Strange how the times change. As I glanced around the marks of the people I knew I could not help but notice how small everyone must have been in the ‘20’s and ‘30’s. John Barrymore for instance had very small hands and feet.

After wallowing in nostalgia I left for Universal Studios by Red Line Underground and got there at the appointed time of 9.20am – then the kerfuffle ensued. You see I didn’t think that after I had purchased my ticket for the VIP Tour in April and had taken email confirmation of my booking with me that I would be required to have photo ID and the credit card I used to make the booking with me. Really this whole American constant requirement for ID etc., wears you down – it is getting as bad as it was when I visited the former Bolshevik countries.

Anyway they then had a bright idea, could I show them I could get into my email account? They got me to a computer and I signed on to AAPT and showed them my email account. They then wanted to see the original of the email they had sent me. Of course it wasn’t there. That was in April. I had printed it out and deleted it. Still problems – but I had had more than enough by then and asked them to get a manager or some head shebang.

A nice enough lady appeared. I said that it was hardly likely that someone would walk in to their studios with an email confirmation in my name and also be able to sign on to my email account. I further stated that I was not trying to get into Fort Knox but merely
visiting a movie studio – where I was supposed to be a VIP guest. She finally relented when given some common sense notions and agreed to let me in. It was then smiles all around as I met the rest of the tour group and Erica our host.

Erica, from Pasadena is one of those rare people who can do the same thing every day and take a group of people through hordes without difficulty and speak knowledgeably about Universal Pictures at great length.

The fellow VIP’s were a motley lot. Two were Scottish, a mother and daughter, then there was a Malay family whilst the rest were Americans who didn’t wish to converse with foreigners.

We had some refreshment in the VIP room before we headed off in bright sun and some heat to the first amusement which was a ride on the “Simpson’s” roller coaster. Actually the car stayed still and rocked in time to a projected image.

Our next delight was the “Shrek” experience in 4D. I had no idea what 4D entailed only having just come to grips with 3D.

Anyway we were ushered into this auditorium, and the show started. There was first a house curtain that parted, then a festoon curtain which flew and then screen tabs which parted, and wearing the special glasses, we were entreated to a “Shrek” picture. We soon found out what the 4D effects were, as the seats moved to simulate action happening on the screen. We were also sprayed with water whenever, for example, someone sneezed. Another effect which was quite scaring was when a whole lot of spiders appeared on the screen and we ‘felt’ them crawling about our legs. Full marks – quite and experience.

Next on the agenda was the “Water World” experience. I had seen this in 2003, but it was good to see it again. I was sitting in the rows that were not supposed to get wet, but I did – but not as badly as some poor Chinese boy sitting near the front who was completely drenched.

We next adjourned to lunch in the “French Quarter” and had a buffet lunch of assorted bits and pieces which are probably best left indescribable. The little dessert offerings were alright – but one should tell .the Americans it is not really possible to eat properly with plastic knives and forks.

After lunch we had two more rides. The first was the “Jurassic Park” one which I had also been on before. Once bitten, twice shy – I utilized my plastic poncho over my head so I didn’t get drenched as did the others. The next ride was “The Mummy”. This was quite an exhilarating indoor roller coaster.

It was at this time getting on towards 4.00pm and I thought it a good idea to call it quits and head back to the hotel in order to freshen up and rest before heading to the airport.

As is usual in my much planned movements whilst abroad, everything was going by clockwork. I checked out of the hotel at 7.00am and found an alley way just behind Hollywood Bvd., which meant I could escape the crowded footpaths. The train at Hollywood and Highland was not long in coming and then I changed into a bus to the airport which left at 8.00pm.

I was motioned to check in at the First Class section and immediately assumed the role of a first class passenger. The girl was very nice in sorting me out however I didn’t quite get her directions to the Qantas Lounge and managed to walk a few miles before coming across it.

I tried one of the computers in the lounge and found it frightfully slow, a fellow passenger beside me said he was beyond frustration with it. I then tried the wireless business and couldn’t get that to work either. Not one to mess about I had the manager down to sort things out. Her name was Jackie and she was very good and attentive. The problem she said was with Qantas, they wouldn’t spend the money to fix the problem – however she did get my wireless going sand I was eventually able to make contact with the outside world.

I had a bite tio eat in the lounge and managed to while away the couple of hours I had to spend in there as the security nightmare was not as bad as I had expected and I was through it all in the bat of an eyelid – and this time around they were all joking with me – not like the times in 2003 when everything was so deadly serious and you were likely to be prodded with the butt of a rifle.

Once aboard the aeroplane I was amazed to find myself upstairs on the new airbus. I thought that there seemed to be a very long line of passengers waiting to board when I got on.

This aeroplane is a lot roomier than the others and my seat is just behind an exit door which means I have about six feet of spare space in front of me. The seat too is a little m more modern than that of the Jumbo jet. In short it is very comfortable.

To begin with I was offered a glass of Charles Heidsieck champagne. Why not? It was after all 11.00pm.

We were supposed tro have gone up at 11.30pm but apparently a passenger had conked out and the captain was awaiting the paramedics who were busy with another passenger aboard an American Airways aeroplane who had also decided to conk out prior to going up.

We finally started to move at 12.45pm. We taxied, and we taxied. I finally asked the air hostess who was sitting in a jump seat opposite me whether we were going to drive to Melbourne? Finally though after about three quarters of an hour this huge machine managed to lift off the ground and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Prior to turning in for the night I had a nice piece of beef with roast potatoes and broccoli followed by an apple and apricot crumble, washed down with orange juice. I didn’t feel like anything more alcoholic before bed time.

The seat is able to do a sort of massage and I played with that for a while before changing it into the bed mode and zonked out, finally going to sleep.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 20

2011-07-12T22:10:00.001+10:00

I awoke this morning somehow at 4.30am and left the hotel at 5.00am to get to the airport which is not all that far out of downtown Las Vegas. The security check too less time than I thought so I was afforded enough time to have breakfast before getting into another little aeroplane.

We arrived at Los Angeles ahead of time – even though we taxied for about 20 minutes before stopping somewhere away from the terminal. We had to wait until there was a gate ready for us.

I took the bus to Union Station and then the Red Line train to Hollywood and Highland and walked up to the hotel arriving at about 9.45am. There was a possibility that I might not have been able to check in so early, but no, everything was apples.

The room allocated was on the fourth floor, a smaller room than I had had previously on my 2003 visit to this famous Hollywood landmark – The Roosevelt. The room also looked a mite tired and on speaking later to the concierge I learned that there were new owners of the hotel and they had plans to do a complete renovation. I also enquired of the seat in the downstairs foyer that contained a statue of Charlie Chaplin – this had been donated to a charity a couple of years back.

At 10.45 I came out of the hotel to be greeted by a sunny and hot day with a temperature that must have been in the 90’s.. I was set to embark on a bit of an adventure. I had always wanted to go to the Getty Villa in Malibu – but had never been able to get there for one reason or another – today was to be it.

The first bus in my adventure came slightly earlier than the scheduled time and off we went for a three quarter of an hour drive before I got off at my pre-planned stop at the corner of Venice and Fairfax, miles away from anything and next to some sort of electrical sub-station.

I waited for some while on one corner for the next bus – but then found I was on the wrong corner. So after doing this correction I finally managed to make the connection and was off on leg two of the marathon journey.

Well, today being Saturday, everyone ion California had decided to go to the seaside at Venice and Malibu and so the traffic was an absolute nightmare. It took a long, long time to get to the Getty Villa. I think I arrived there at 1.00pm.

There is no pedestrian access up to the Villa, so I had to wait for them to come and pick me up in a “shuttle”,.

I don’t know who pays for the Villa, as there is no charge to get in – you do have to get a ticket prior to going – and there is no charge for the ‘shuttle’ service either?

Prior to tramping around the Villa, I was a bit puckish and decided to put on the chaff bag at the café. I had a lasagna and iced coffee and found the food reasonable to eat and reasonably priced.

The whole place is laid out in the style of a Roman villa as it would have been owned by a wealthy family some two thousand years ago. It is truly magnificent and well worth the visit. There is marble in evidence everywhere. The gardens have been laid out with a central square pond and are a beauty to behold.

I had a two hour wander around. There are rooms leading off the main hall and each is filled with exhibits of statuary, pottery, silver and gold dating back to antiquity.. All presumably priceless and fascinating to see. Some of the smaller objects were intricately worked and you wonder at the workmanship for such early times.

After a very enjoyable time it was time to retrace my steps – another ride in the ‘shuttle’ to the front gate, a very long wait for the first bus – which was overcrowded, an eternity spent in traffic getting to the place I had to get on the second bus, another long ride – and finally I was back at the hotel at 6.00pm.

I got a few provisions at the CVS pharmacy – which also is like a 4711 shop and went back to the hotel for an early night and a good sleep before tomorrow’s adventures at Universal Studios.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 19

2011-07-10T12:18:00.003+10:00

Today whilst waiting in front of the Venetian Hotel for my tour bus to arrive I was propositioned by a young blonde of about 18 or 19 who asked me a series of questions answering "Kewl" to nearly all of them. May I add that this was at 6.30 in the morning!

The tour bus eventually arrived - painted pink and our tour guide introduced himself. He appeared to be a left-over from the cast of "Hogan's Heroes" as he had the strongest of German accents.

"Gut morrrrrnink prizonerz! Today ve ist goink to ze Grrrrrant Kanyon unt virst you must know zer rrrrrulz unt rrrrregulationz!"

We drove then for miles through desilute desert with a few cacti here and there as the only survivable vegetation. The small townships we passed through have the electricity on but no running water. They have to fetch it from a pump and are charged 75 cents for 50 gallons. Most of these townships are trailer towns and therefore dumps. Little did I know we would be stopping at one of them as a rest stop!

We were over the border into Arizona by this time and soon into Indian territory where we stopped at some place before we transfer into a large shuttle bus to be transferred to Grand Canyon West and the viewing platform area.

This platform has a semi circle of glass jutting out above the Grand Canyon at 4,000 feet - but as it costs $35 to go in and you are not allowed to take a camera, I couldn't see the point as you can take adequate photos from just next door to it.

We seemed to stay forever here and Colonel Klink took some of them off to look at wig-wams, I couldn't be bothered wandering around in the heat - and I've seen wig-wams.

Colonel Klink then took us to some other place that he thought was terrific - he was the only one to think so in our party - and it was obviously only a stop so that we could go to the souvenir shop.

Eventually we got the place we were to have lunch. Another dump. Supposedly it was recreation of a western town. It had some animals and a ring in the centre where the stench from the animals and their residue was obnoxious.

We had a rather ordinary lunch with limited choice sitting on benches at a long table.

After lunch wee were treated to a conjurer with cards. Yawn. then it was outside to wait for others to see some animals - then it started to rain. All some of us wanted to do was get back in the bus and get out of the rain and preferably go to some place interesting - like back to our hotel.

Finally Colonel Klink acceded to our wants and off we went again. Surprise, surprise, we ended up at Hoover Dam which wasn't on the itinerary - so I was quite pleased as I had always wanted to see it. Quite fascinating and something that probably could not be built in this day and age even though we have better means to do it then they had in the3 30's. (The answer is of course, politicians).

We went back to Las Vegas, via Lake Mead arriving there at 5.30pm.

I was worn out, and as I had to get up at 4.30 the next morning, I did just a few things and went to bed.

(The Photoshop programme on my computer has decided to pack it in, so I won't be able to post photos until I return home)

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 18

2011-07-08T14:57:00.003+10:00

Awoke early this morning and then after the ablution process, found Rich in the kitchen busily engaged in a concise cooking effort which later resulted in my being presented with a marvelous breakfast of bacon, eggs over easy and American style round toast, washed down with Cranberry Juice and coffee.

Rich then showed me some of his inventions. I was intrigued with his device for waking sleepy car drivers. It relies on the driver constantly pushing a button when feeling he or she may be fatigued. If that driver fails to press the button within a certain time, an alarm sounds. I could immediately see the practicality of such a device if it were to be fitted into the steering wheel. Simple but effective – much easier to get working than a rather more complicated computerized arrangement that monitors the eyeballs.

Adrienne greeted us with her presence at the sensible time of 10.00ish and I found it very easy to converse with her on a myriad of subjects. We fed off each other very well.

Rich then presented me with a floppy hat to wear knowing it would suit me, and another surprise. He was going to take me for a spin in his prized MG sports car. I knew he had one and drove about in it – but I didn’t know that I was going to be offered to be seen floating about in it.

We went for quite a long drive through back roads with little traffic. Most were tree lined with the branches forming an arch over the road. Lush greenery everywhere, both in open fields and lush lawns in front of interesting and picturesque houses. I was taken aback out how neat everything was. Pride was evident in the presentation of each household – none had rusting old cars or other debris lying about. A lot had Old Glory proudly flying. Why not? Why not be proud of your country and display its colours.

We came then upon a dairy farm which sold direct to the public. Whilst Rich had to see a man about a dog, I went and talked to the cows, who although weren’t all that pleased to see me drop in on their meal break, they nevertheless weren't all that perturbed.

Rich had brought me to this place to cap of the excursion with home made ice-cream. He warned me to just order a single cone. Just as well I did as it was the obligatory jumbo size.

On arriving back at the house, Rich showed me some more of his movie collection and I saw some of his various photographic efforts. He also took the time to show me how a simple idea could save time and money. It was a cardboard box with a much simpler clipping together methodology. I would not have noticed, but Rich told me that such an idea would save thousands in tooling costs. You live and learn.

Soon my brief sojourn in my friend’s home was to end and I was whisked off to the airport to continue on my way, happy in the knowledge that I had been given such wonderful and warm hospitality. I hope that one day I can return their hospitality in Oz.

The journey to Las Vegas lasted 4 hours - but it wasn't all that bad considering i got to put the clock back three hours. I was sitting next to a Canadian women and we engaged in snippets of conversation. On my other side was a middle-aged Chinese woman who assisted us both when the Canadian woman wanted to get out to go to the lavatory, by remaining in her seat. I did by best to trample on her.

Las Vegas airport was choc-a-bloc and there was a queue a mile long to get a taxi. Eventually I made it to the end of the line and was taken on a relatively short ride to the hotel which passed all the sights I needed to see in Las Vegas.

To say the Venetian Hotel is over the top would be an understatement. For one thing it must have over 2,000 rooms. To get into your room you have to queue up to even get to reception.

The lifts to the rooms make you walk past the gaming den. A place where people seem to gather at all hours of the day to give all their money away.

My room, or should I say suite is on the 25th floor overlooking the famous "strip". I have a huge marble bathroom, a bedroom and a step down living room and office.

Due to the fact that I have to be up early tomorrow and have had a long journey - I hit the sack rather early.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 17

2011-07-08T14:54:00.000+10:00

I think I slept through the alarm this morning and just managed to wake up in time to get ready rather hurriedly and rush down to the front of the hotel to catch a shuttle to the airport. There was only one other bloke also waiting and the shuttle didn’t pick up any more passengers from the hotels it visited before the drive to the airport.

The T.F. Green airport at Providence is relatively small so going through all the security checks and getting to the proper area to wait for the aeroplane was easy.

The aeroplane taking me first of all to Philadelphia was quite small, only seating about 50 people. Whilst on board I had a coughing fit which I was eventually able to overcome to some extent by gargling some cough mixture. There was no service by the 2 air hostesses as this was only an hour’s flight.

At Philadelphia I had to walk miles to find a shuttle bus which would take me to another terminal. I couldn’t understand why the same airline didn’t have all it’s planes coming and going from the one placed - but no matter. It was only a short wait to board another little aeroplane to go to Detroit.

Detroit airport is ginormous. Aeroplanes land about 30 miles from it and taxi for an hour or so to one of the many terminals.

I was met at the airport by my friends in Michigan, Rich and Adrienne and we drove to a small Greek restaurant to have a snack. I tried lemon rice soup and a Caesar Salad.

We then went back to their charming home art the end of a leafy cul de sac and I was taken on a tour of the house and the garden, both of which were very neat and tidy and well cared for.

We all had a lively and interesting conversation as do friends do who have been released from the confines of communicated only under the restrictions of email correspondence.

In the evening I was in for a surprise. Rich had arranged for me to be taken on a tour of a local cinema palace in Redford. What a little gem. It was a Chinese atmospheric which had been taken over by the local Theatre Organ Society in the 1970’s and over the years has been gradually restored by them

I was shown the 3/8 Barton organ, the stage and the bio box – and was pleased to note that all films they show there are projected with proper carbon-arc lamped reel to reel projectors.

It was a lovely gesture and a real treat that Rich and Adrienne had arranged for me.

Afterwards we dined at a favourite restaurant of theirs and had a very nice repast.

More talking at their home afterwards after which we retired for the evening. I had my head on the pillow just about ready top enter the Place of Dreams when some clown next door decided to let off surplus fireworks from the 4th of July. I though all hell had broken loose,. Oh, well such are the delights of travelling in foreign parts.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 16

2011-07-08T14:52:00.000+10:00

This morning at 10.30 we set off again to Worcester and the Stadium Theatre for a concert given by ATOS President, Ken Double at the 4/35 Wurlitzer.Beforehand we had a bread roll type lunch in the upstairs lobby which had been furnished with tables and chairs for the occasion.

Ken’s concert also featured Jim Stine on trumpet and Cathy Cheml, vocalist. Both these artists had been with the Harry James band.. Ken showed just how good an accompanist he is and also pointed out another feature of theatre organs which had been converted to computerized running in that you are now able to press a button to automatically transpose anything you are playing into any key you desire.

In the afternoon we were given a bus tour of Boston stropping off at the North Church for a lecture on its historical significance and then to the mooring of the sailing ship “Independence” which after 200 or so more years has not been de-commissioned from the US Navy. I declined a tour of the vessel at it would have meant a security check akin to that which goes on at airports.

In the evening we boarded a luxurious yacht for a tour of Boston Harbour and another5 buffet style feast. At first the DJ who was in charge of the recorded music selection was playing all that loud boom boom type noise posing as music which young people seem to like to listen to, Of course as most of the audience was close to a permanent visit to a cemetery I decided to ask the most accommodating young man whether he might have any quieter, perhaps older selections amongst his repertoire. He managed to oblige and about 500 oldies sighed a huge sigh of relief. We were though treated later to a floor show whereby some of the staff sang to us by courtesy of a loudly amplified microphone with a backing gramophone record. The acts also consisted of a chorus line of about 4 other girls doing routines associated with disco type dancing.

After the cruise we returned to the hotel arriving back there at 10.30pm or so.

The Death of H.I. & R.H. The Archduke Otto von Habsburg-Lothringen

2011-07-05T07:19:00.002+10:00

It is with profound sadness that I have learned of the death of H.I. & R.H. the Archduke Otto von Habsburg, head of the House of Austria and de jure Emperor of Austria and King of Hungary. He died at home in Pöcking, Germany, at the age of 98.

Born in Reichenau, in what was then Austria-Hungary in 1912, his early life went through a series of sudden and strange reversals of fortune. In 1914, the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo both touched off World War I
and made his father, the Archduke Karl, heir to the throne of Austria-
Hungary.

When Karl's great-uncle, the Emperor Franz Josef died in
1916, Karl became Emperor himself, and Otto his heir. But with
reversals on the battlefield and rebellions in the provinces at the
end of 1918, Karl relinquished the powers of his throne, and the
following year he went into exile, banned by the new Austrian republic
from ever returning, a ban which also applied to Otto. Karl's attempt
to reclaim the Hungarian throne in 1921 was a miserable failure. Karl
went into exile in Madeira, and died the next year of pneumonia. Otto
succeeded to all the Habsburg claims at the age of only nine.

Otto passed the succeeding years, through the infamous "Anschluß" with
Nazi Germany and the post-war restoration of the Republic, in exile,
though he continued to take a strong interest in the country of his
birth. In 1961 he finally signed a renunciation of his claims to the
Austrian throne, but it was not until 1966 that he got permission to
visit Austria again.

Otto spent most of his later life involved in politics, e.g., as
President of the Paneuropean Union until 2004, and as a member of the
European Parliament until 1999.

Otto's wife, Regina, predeceased him early last year. The couple had
seven children, five daughters and two sons. He was succeeded in 2007
as head of the Austrian House by his son Karl, born in 1961.

Otto is expected to be buried on July 16 in the crypt of his ancestors
in the Kapuzinerkirche in Vienna.

Requisit in Pace

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 15

2011-07-05T07:04:00.003+10:00

Once again we all bussed into the middle of nowhere at Groton Mass., where the Shanklin Music Hall is situated for a morning concert given by Chris Gorsuch and Jelani Eddington alternating between the organ and the grand piano for solos and duets.

As usual with both these artists we were treated to some fine organ playing with Chris going for the more jazzy style of playing.

Among the treats were selections from "Me and My Girl" and "Stop the World I want to get Off", plus that old favourite of duets "Warsaw Concerto".

The bus nearly broke down on the way back. The engine had overheated and we had to stop for a little while for it to cool down.

For a very late lunch I sampled the wares at the local shopping mall and had spaghetti and meatballs with a side serve of potatoes and a Pepsi. I handed the girl the money - but of course I forgot the sales tax which is added in after you see the price. All very confusing. I also had a soft ice and the girl serving me thought I was very amusing with my 'funny accent'. Oh well, life's a performance ain't it!

In the evening we went local again to the grand cinema palace now know as the Providence Performing Arts Centre. The mighty 5/36 Wurlitzer was put through its paces by David Peckham who was another wizard of the keyboards. Do you know I have heard so much music over the last week, I just for the life of me cannot get it into order and let you know actually what each individual played? No doubt when I get a copy of the CD of artists' repertoire it will all be clearer! Anyway, whatever it was that David did play was very enjoyable.

Now in the second half of the programme we had the American band who were very versatile in their repertoire. They started off with a medley of - now I can't remember his name anyway that blind, black man who sits and sings at the piano - a medley of his hits. Surprisingly for American Independence Day they played "Crown Imperial" march by Walton, joined by David at the organ. Then I had to sit through "Londonderry Air" - one occasionally strikes it in a programme, (it's not one of my favourites). Included also was a jazzed up version of "Amazing Grace" - oh well, this is America. To conclude we had a nice bit of Americana including the good old "Stars and Stripes Forever" march by Sousa. A nice night's entertainment.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 14

2011-07-04T13:37:00.003+10:00

For some strange reason I picked up a virus in the notebook and had to spend some time this morning doing my first session on working to fix things up.

At 10.30am I walked down to the station to meet my brother who had kindly interrupted his very busy schedule and take a three hour train trip down from New York City in order to meet me. His train was early and we took a quick walk over to the "Cheesecake Factory" and had was supposed to be an entree sized salad - which turned out to be enormous. We caught up with all the news of the moment, and then had to say our goodbyes after only an hour or so in each other's company as I had to catch a bus for Woonsocket R.I.

I was looking forward to the next concert on the list as it was to be the silent picture "Sunrise" (1927) with George O'Brien and Janet Gaynor, accompanied on the 2/10 Wurlitzer of the Stadium Theatre by Dr. Steven Ball.

The Stadium Theatre was built in 1926 and as the name implies, is indeed a stadium style theatre architecturally. The theatre interior has been renovated and restored but unfortunately the organ - an original installation has not as yet been restored to a completely playable condition. Having said that, there is enough of it working to get enough out of it.

The way the film was presented was a little disappointing to someone who has had cinema experience. Firstly the frame size had not been achieved correctly on the screen, parts of the bottom of the picture appeared on the bottom black edge, also the sides of the screen had not been masked to allow for academy - we had the white showing from widescreen. As well as that, the film was projected by a domestic DVD projector meant for a throw of about 4.5 metres, instead the throw was up to 15 metres of more so the luminescence on the screen was extremely low yielding a very low contrast. With a silent picture it is important to give clear black and whites so that the grey shadows are clearly visible as well as all the detail in the picture as with silents, the visuals are all important.

Having said that, it was good to see the picture well received by the audience and a good score from Steven Ball which played to the picture quite well. A big plus to him to for getting what he did out of the organ.

In the evening we had the Convention dinner at some huge "complex" - restaurant and function centre called the "Venus de Milo". Again it was a buffet affair and was adequate but not anything to write home about. Afterwards we had the awards ceremony which I thought quite amusing, but most were taking it all seriously.

On coming back to the hotel, I spent more time getting all the bugs out of my computer. Hopefully I will find more secure systems from here on in?

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 13

2011-07-04T13:17:00.002+10:00

It was an early start this morning after breakfast as we boarded the buses yet again to be whisked off to another palace of dreams. This time is was the Zeiterion Theatre in New Bedford. Mass. This theatre was a one storied and elegant by-product of the 1920’s with a very wide auditorium and with comfortable seats - which is quite rare in American theatres.

The organ (a 3/9 Wurlitzer) is housed in two chambers on the left of the proscenium. Apparently it was impossible structurally to split the solo to be on the right. The sound therefore was “monaural” coming as it did from the left hand side of the theatre.

The console was not on a lift and sits to9 the far right of the below stage area.

The organist for the morning concert was Brett Valliant (surely this is a stage name?) who had entertained us previously at the first day home installation tour. He is also of the young organist set, but a little older than the young kids I have heard so far.

One of the things that I find with a lot of organists is that they tend to overuse the effect of the chrysoglott and glockenspiel. One does tire of it as a relief from the main stops.

Brett played a few well chosen numbers but I felt that the organ sounded a bit muffled, his selection from “Showboat” was also taken in some numbers at too slow a tempo.

Next we again visited the Hanover Theatre at Worcester, Mass to hear English organist Simon Gledhill who is a featured artist at the Convention again this year.

Simon is celebrating 30 years as a concert organist although he still looks like a youngster.

The one thing I noticed is that he had done his homework and pre-set his piston combinations so that there was hardly any laborious stop tab setting before each number.

Once again Simon proved that he was at the top of his league in a wonderful display of orchestral toning and stop combinations. He showed off this wonderful 4/35 Wurlitzer to its best advantage.

I particularly liked his Ray Noble medley featuring a number of that composer’s great hits from the 1930’s.

After Simon’s concert we were taken back to the hotel arriving at 4.30pm giving us a couple of hours to prepare for the evening’s concert.

At 7.30pm we gain boarded the buses for the short trip to the Providence Performing Arts Centre which is a glorious 1928 Loewes Theatre which has been fully restored to its original grandeur. The décor could hardly be described as under-stated – it is true over the top movie palace opulence

The organ speaks from chambers on either side of the proscenium thus giving one the desired stereophonic effect. The console is a rare, one of only three ever made, 5 manual consoles and has 21 ranks.

The organist was Jonathan Ortloff a skinny redheaded youth who had first entertained us at the Home organ tour. He was a confident speaker and quite sure of himself. I felt though that apart from some novelty numbers (a couple repeated from his earlier performance) and some classical works, his registrations lacked sufficient orchestral toning – there wasn’t enough colour, light and shade. As he is very young, no doubt he will work on this and become much more proficient as he goes on.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 12

2011-07-02T19:48:00.004+10:00

I woke up late again, just in time to get ready and go downstairs to board a bus.

This time we again headed out in the countryside for miles. We went on about a dozen different freeways and then on to ordinary roads, going I know not where.

Eventually we ended up at the Knight Auditorium of the Babson College somewhere or other where a 4/18 Wurlitzer organ had been installed. (I later found out it was at Wellesley Mass.)

A young 22 year old by the name of Donnie Rankin engaged us with his technique and dexterity at the console. It makes you sick to see such talent in the hands of the young, when you have barely managed to play the top note of a scale!

Donnie was joined in some numbers by "The Beryllium Gentleman", one of whom played the saxophone and the other the drums.

I don't go much for this modern jazz type music nor the sound of someone bashing noisily away at drum kit, so I didn't much care for those numbers - although the audience of course were as usual over the top in their display of enthusiasm. I begin to think that if someone farted on stage, an Americsn audience would give a standing ovation of some 20 minutes.

After this concert we went back to the bus like a good group of pensioners and made off to our second concert venue which was a hall in the middle of nowhere at Groton Mass. This venue was named the Shanklin Music Hall and was built especially to house a 4/34 Wurlitzer. The chambers were at the rear of the hall and the shutters were exposed as were the wooden diapasons, the percussions and traps.

We were supposed to have been entertained by Dave Wickerham, but he couldn't make it. Instead we had another young fellah called Mark Herman play for us. Boy could this young man play! He has been the best yet that I have seen at this Convention. His orchestrations and choice of stop combinations are wonderful as is his sheer brilliancy in giving life to the music he played. A most enjoyable concert and a brilliantly speaking organ.

Still reeling with music in our ears we were taken to some place called the "Bull Run Restaurant" which is located in a rambling uneven floored building going back to the 1700's. There was a bar for those requiring a libation after the proceedings and the meal was a hot buffet with a reasonable choice of food offerings.

The bus ride back to the hotel took about an hour and a half and we got back at 10.30pm in time to go to bed.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 11

2011-07-02T19:33:00.004+10:00

Due to this cold I have picked up I woke up just in time to get up and go to lunch. This festivity occurred in a place called "The Cheesecake Factory". It was a bit of a performance. I had to follow this diminutive woman who walked at a snail's pace and answer her questions such as "Have you been here before?" etc., I was finally shown to a small booth accommodating two and given a menu the size of a small motor car.

In short I had a pleasant enough repast consisting of an entree of mushrooms followed by fish and chips.

After lunch, I still felt tired and rested again, surfacing for the evening's festivities which consisted of a bus trip to Worcester, Mass., where we were dumped at the new Stadium Theatre. Actually it was a really old theatre that had been divided up into a four cinema multiplex. Over the last couple of years it has been re-converted back to a single, large theatre with most of the original features restored plus the addition of a 4/35 Wurlitzer Organ.

The organ was played in tonight's concert by Ron Rhodes who specialises in finding the most obscure items to play. His one consideration to more recognisable tunes was a Carpenter's medley. Prior to the first half he was most of the way through a bright and breezy Sousa march when he decided to press the 'down' button and instead turned the organ off. This was met by huge chuckles and thunderous applause.

After the performance we arrived back at the hotel and to the chagrin of those in search of a welcome libation - found the bar closed at 11.30pm.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 10

2011-07-01T13:56:00.003+10:00

After breakfast we all lumbered on to coaches which left the hotel at 8.00am to go on a full day's tour which was to see us visit three home organ installations, a Clydesdale horse farm and a tour around the stately homes of Newport.

We first visited the Pero residence where a 2/7 Wurlitzer has been installed in the basement. The organ speaks through the floor into the living room and the sound is kept in check by some glass reflectors on the back wall. At the console was Brett Valliant who was able to show that being smaller didn't mean insignificance. The organ spoke well and did not sound at all muffled. It was quite surprising actually to go into a normal suburban housed and to find that there was a full pipe organ in there somewhere.

Back on the bus we ventured further into Rhode Island and to a house in the middle of some woods at North Smithfield. This organ is a 3/11 made of of bits and pieces from a variety of organ builders and is known as a "Heinz 57". Again another relatively small house with the console in the living room and the organ in what were once bedrooms on the landing above.

The organ was played by a lanky young man by the name of Jonathan Orloff who included one of his own compositions in the repertoire.

After this mini-concert we were once again transported somewhere or other, and to a large hall where we had a very nice lunch of cold collations and salads.

In the afternoon we motored to Lakevillle in Massachussetts to a horse stud and to another little house in the grounds, where we went upstairs to the kitchen arouund the corner from which was a huge organ console. This console had originally been the roll cutting console in the original Wurlitzer factory. It was quite gothic looking with a heavy walnut carved finish. It was interesting that some of the keys on the manuals had been marked with a ring. This was to indicate to the organist not to play them as they would not register on the rolls. The organ is a 3/14 and again speaks from chambers where bedrooms would have been - on a landing.

The organ was played to us by Ron Rhode - who started his selections with the Jesse Crawford arrangement of "I Love to heart you Singing", which is one of my favourites. Ron, although a concert organist, was a little nervous at having his audience in such close proximity.

Afterwards we all went and had a look at the beautiful Clydesdale horses in their stables. They were very friendly horses and loved the attention.

Then it was back on to the bus and on to Newport where the wealthy in the 1920's built some summer beach shacks. Some of these shacks were 150 room mansions of extraordinary ostentation. Most have been taken over by the local preservation society as it would cost a fortune to run these places today.

We got back to the hotel after 8.00pm feeling somewhat exhausted.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 9 (Part 2)

2011-06-29T03:39:00.007+10:00

In the afternoon I had a marathon walk through the downtown area of Providence plus a street of residences owned by the well to do. (A photographic essay appears with this post.)

Rhode Island was originally British and a very old colonial possession at that having been settled in the late 17th century. A lot of the buildings date from the early 1700's and are classically Georgian brick. The Georgian style has also been carried over into some quaint old wooden structures. Overall the streetscapes are quite impressive and it is good to see so much has been preserved.

The city is divided in two by a wide canal and one gets a very European flavour from the whole Providence experience.

You will note that one house looks as though the Addams family lived in it and another is similar to the house in Psycho.

There are a lot of building works being carried out all over the place, beautifying the 'sidewalks'.

Later in the afternoon I registered for the American Theatre Organ Society convention and wrang the wrists of few familiar faces from last year.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 9

2011-06-29T00:36:00.004+10:00

I awoke and went downstairs to the hotel's dining room for breakfast. I am paying such a cheap rate here that I can afford to have breakfast each day - even if it is the only meal I may have some days.

Everything was very nicely done both in table presentation and general décor. The tables were dressed with starched napery.

It was one of those self-serve buffets with thankfully, a selection of proper things to have at breakfast rather than pancakes and waffles. I had scrambled eggs, a sausage, bacon and a few potatoes, washed down with an orange juice and some horrid coffee I later found was Starbucks - so it will be tea in future.

After breakfast I went for a bit of a walk around the general landscape at the rear of the hotel and took some interesting snaps. (which are appended here). The sky was overcast but it was warm and a little humid.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 8

2011-06-28T16:47:00.004+10:00

To add to my ever increasing list of American colloquialisms, I can now add “You got it”. This takes pride of place before “I’ll be right back” and “be right with you”. On the aeroplane I am advised that everyone is “glad I am here”. What with “have a nice day” and “missing you already", I have quite a collection of absolutely useless and meaningless expressions.

Mobile ‘phones are in use by everyone everywhere and in most cases the people using them are a damn nuisance. The trendy way of using one is to have a small device stuck in your ear with a thin wire to the actual apparatus. This gives the appearance of the dingbat on the ‘phone talking to himself and it can be disconcerting if you are rummaging around on shelves whilst shopping. You don’t always see the ear piece and presume the person is talking to you. Pedestrians meanwhile are texting as they are walking and therefore running into people. This habit is annoying at lights as they forget to go across the road and you run into them. Of course, to add more prominence to the fact that you are making a call on a mobile ‘phone, you should walk around with your voice booming so that everyone for miles around can hear the breathtakingly important substance of your conversation.

There seem to be more beggars in the streets this time around in San Francisco. Some I recognize as still being there from nearly a decade ago. Most just sit on the pavement with their used coffee cup and don’t annoy you, but there are some who are really annoying and rush at you shaking their cup of coins under your nose.

The audiences at the opera are a mixed lot much the same as they are in Oz. You have a fair sprinkling from both the Jewish and Gay communities, together with a few disheveled Bohemians, the lame, the zimmer-framed, the wheelchair bound, the octo and nonagenarians and some men who have been buried in their dinner jackets and dug up for the evening.

“Götterdämmerung” was on a Sunday afternoon, so I was invited by a group of New York friends of a friend, to join them for brunch.. This was a lively group of Wazgnerites who seem to travel all over the place to attend Ring Cycles. We went to Max’s on Van Ness. The owners must have thought that business would not be so brisk because of the Gay Pride raucousness nearby as there seemed to be only two waiters in attendance, so service was a trifle slow. I only had a light Caesar salad, but the buzz was on some dish called Corned Beef Hash. I think I was the youngest of the group whose age rapidly increased past 60 something and ascended into the 80’s. The highlight though of this production was the totting up of the bill at the end of the proceedings., This was a performance if ever I had seen one. It usually is when everyone is trying to pay their own part of the bill instead of just evening out the total by the number in attendance.

During the first interval I was informed that I had also been invited to attend a dinner after the Opera. Perhaps it was that I made the required good impression at the brunch?

We trekked off to an Italian style café in Hayes Street – which again was short-staffed and it took ages for us to receive the food. Again a lively banter and some of it full of that New York style of sardonic humour. For this repast I tried a very novel cold soup – Potato and Pear. What a combination! I thought. It was sweet but not unpleasant,. I followed this by Veal Scaloppini – the only mains on the menu I could see myself fancying.

We departed by train to Powell Street about 9.00pm and I went to the hotel to find out about my laundry…

We now come to the case of the missing laundry. I had given the front desk my dirty rags for washing on Friday evening. It was understood that the cleaned items would be returned to me on Saturday evening. Anyway on Saturday morning I received a call from reception. Something had gone haywire apparently and would it be alright if the laundry now came back to me on Sunday night? No worries I said good naturedly. As long as it does come back then as I have to leave at 7.00am Monday.

I missed seeing the Gay Pride march – not that I was all that interested in it particularly. This sort of thing finds interest mainly in the younger set. I was reading that the non-profit organisation that runs it was in the red last year to the tune of nearly $250,000. A lot on the board got their marching orders and so far they have reduced the debt down to something like $70,000. The flavour of the event was more of a celebration than an enforcement of gay rights awareness – New York had just passed legislation legalising same sex marriages.

I saw a lot of older gay couples round about. You don’t often see them as they seem to spend most of their time indoors. They strolled around holding hands – nobody could be bothered noticing. It certainly wouldn’t have gone unnoticed in the Oz of my day!

Well of course the laundry didn’t come back Sunday night and there was no note or explanation. I had to go downstairs and find out for myself. It is now due to appear at 7.00am Monday.

Thankfully my laundry was downstairs when I checked out in the morning – but it was on hangers instead of boxes and I had to open my case in the foyer and pack it in. At this time the shuttle I was supposed to have gone to the airport in had parked out the front of the hotel and the wonderfully intelligent driver had not bothered to come into the hotel to seek me. As a consequence he had driven off without picking anyone up. What a brainless wonder!

I got to the airport in a taxi which resembled something more like a van and was not very comfortable. It was driven by a Russian; anyway he got me to the airport in plenty of time. The security check at San Francisco is much easier than Los Angeles and I was whisked through quickly as I had a First Class ticket.

The American Airways lounge, called strangely, “The Admiral’s Cabin” has reciprocal arrangements with Qantas so I was able to relax in there until boarding time.

The journey to Los Angeles was uneventful and helpfully I was given the gate number of the connecting aeroplane taking me on to Boston.

Another wait in another “Admiral’s Cabin” lounge at Los Angeles and then I was the second person to board. The airline hostesses had to make a number of announcements for people to move down the aeroplane as people were messing about trying to stow bass fiddles into the overhead roof lockers. Of course no attention was given to the announcements. What you really need is a John Cleese type who can dish it out.
“The lady in red at row 35. Yes you! I suppose you realize that you are holding everyone up? What is it you are actually doing?”
“That idiot at row 10, Yes you, trying to stow that shipping trunk. It obviously won’t fit will it? Alright, off the ‘plane!”

It’s only an hour in the air between San Francisco and Los Angeles, but it is four hours and forty-seven minutes to Boston, then you have to add on another three hours for the difference between Pacific and Eastern time.

It was a very clear day for most of the aeroplane ride. Everything on the ground was visible so we were able to see the huge sprawl of Los Angeles and Las Vegas also passed beneath us. From then on it was mostly mountains and fields until over Minnesota we encountered cloud cover and a little turbulence.

We had luncheon on the aeroplane. Warm nuts and a drink to start off with, then a tray with a salad, a bread roll and a chicken pie to follow. Afterwards I had a bowl of ice-cream. The food and beverages are included in the ticket price in First Class so in Second Class you have to pay for everything – and you can’t use cash, you have to use a credit card.

We arrived at Boston a little ahead of time, about 8.oo in the evening. There was a bit of a wait for the bags to start appearing on the conveyor - but mine was first off.

The girl at an information desk told me where to go for a free shuttle to the station. Imagine my surprise when I was confronted by a driver with attitude who wished to convey to me that I had to pay $2.00. I must have been directed to the wrong bus. In the end it didn't matter as the bus was headed for South Station where I wanted to go in any case.

I then managed to get on board the train for Providence with seconds to spare, only to find I was sitting in a carriage "not taking passengers" - but not indicated to the passengers who were actually sitting in it. Luckily this error in our ways was sorted out and correctly seated we chortled off to Providence, a little over an hour's journey.

The Westin Hotel is a five minute walk from the station and my appointments are most suitable as I now prepare for a well earned rest.

(Once again there are some enchanting colour snaps accompanying this post).

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 7 Goetterdaemmerung

2011-06-28T16:45:00.001+10:00

This is the space for a review after I have consulted my notes and got around to typing it up

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 6

2011-06-26T15:01:00.003+10:00

I went on a grand tour of San Francisco today. I thought that I have done so much walking around in this city over the years, I would take it easy today and take a ride on some wheels.

The traffic is amazing. if you ever thought you might like to live here, the traffic would put you off. It is faster to walk.

We left from Union Square and went through Chinatown (why do Chinatown's look the same all over the world - dilapidated, seedy and somewhat dirty?) Next we went through the Financial Streets before hitting Fisherman's wharf full of people sorting through all the tack and the kitch.

The highlight to me was going over the Golden Gate bridge again for the first time since 1958. I thought it was about time to do it again. Prior to getting on to the bridge the temperature dropped about 50 degrees and we were confronted with a howling gale. I shivered a bit in just a short sleeved shirt.

We came back to Union Square by way of going all the way up Van Ness.

The dwelling houses here are interesting. All are mostly two or three storey weather boards and they have a very narrow frontage - so the rooms must be very pokey. The ground floor is usually the garage.

After going back to the hotel to get a jumper I walked up to Mission and had a Caeser Salad and Meat Loaf at Mel's Diner before returning to the hotel to relax before the morrow and the marathon of "Goetterdaemerung".

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 5 Siegfried

2011-06-26T14:17:00.003+10:00

I wasn't feeling too good by the evening. I later found out that I had contracted a light cold - probably due to going from one extreme of weather to the other.

"Siegfried" takes place nearly 20 years after what has gone before in "Die Walkuere". I find the first Act a trifle tedious, the more exciting stuff comes in the second and third acts.

Basically in Act 1 Siegfied is introduced and fixes up his father's sword. Wotan has become a tramp. Mime has brought up Siegfried after his parents died - but only wants him in order to get his hands on the gold. Wotan during his travels confronts Mime and tells him he will be killed by the sword that has been mended. Siegfried is fearless but will he learn fear after he kills Fafner and regains the gold? Mime and Siegfried then go off to confront Fafner? Got it? Good.

The scene has Mime living with Siegfried in a Caravan. There is an overhead catwalk from which Wotan appears. The old car seat from "Die Walkuere" makes a re-appearance.
Sparks fly from the anvil as Siegfried fashions the sword. There are other bits and pieces of blacksmithing equipment thereabout.

The singing is evenly matched although Wotan again - although possessed with a rich and pleasing baritone, is devoid of the power required to get over the orchestra in the louder moments. Siegfried (Jay Hunter Morris) captured well all the bravado and gung-ho required of a young man in search of his destiny - but did not quite make it to the mark as far as th vocal challenge was concerned. However that is not to say that I was unimpressed with his performance overall.

Act 2 has us in Fafner's den were he is guarding the gold. Alberich is outside keeping watch. Wotan, still wandering around comes across Alberich and warns him of his brother Mime's designs on the gold. He then rouses Fafner so that Alberich may obtain the ring back in return for letting him know the approach of Siegried but Fafner is not interested.

Alberich and Wotan go away and Siegfried and Mime arrive. Mime tries to make Siegfried afraid of Fafner but fails so Siegfried sends him away. We then get to a little bit of fun amongst all the doom and gloom as Siegfied decides to listen to a little birdie and fashions a pipe in order to mimic it. It's no good so he tries his horn.

The door of Fafner's den opens bathed in green light and we find that Fafner has transformed himself, with the aid of the magic helmut, into a bulldozer which also looks like something out of "Star Wars". Siegfried uses the sword to cut the fuel pipe thus killing Fafner, whose blood allows him to suddenly understand the birdie.

Usually the bird song is heard off stage, but in this production the bird (Stacey Tappan) is presented firstly on the overhead catwalk and then on-stage. The mannerisms are amusing and the voice good, clear and vibrant. The birdie warns Siegfried to beware of Mime as he will try and poison him.

Alberich and Mime enter and the two brothers fight over the gold. Siegfried though has taken the ring and the magic helmet.

Alberich goes and Mime gives Siegfried the poisoned drink - he doesn't drink it and instead kills Mime. The birdie appears again and now tells Siegfried that he is to go through fire and rescue Bruenhilde - his future bride.

I thoroughly enjoyed the way this scene was treated and the infusing of so much fun. I think the audience did too as there were quite a few chuckles here and there. It was very imaginative and did not anyway detract from the general play of the opera.

For the most this was another round of good ensemble work in the singing. Fafner was a trifle disappointing, the voice is getting old. Otherwise well handled.

Act 3 is the climax of course. In the first part Wotan goes to see Erda in order to try to avoid the impending disaster. Erda tells him that he will bequeath the world to Siegfried.

Siegfried then comes across Wotan and Wotan confronts him. Siegfried then breaks Wotan's spear effectively finishing him off.

Siegfried eventually gets to Bruenhilda's rock by going through the fire. He kisses her and awakes and the two of them fall instantly in love - well after a long duet.

Nina Stemme excels in the role of Bruenhilda letting forth some thrilling high C's and even managing a few trills here and there. Such a robust and powerful voice coming from such a small frame is somewhat amazing and one could understand Siegfried becoming enamoured. In most cases the idea of a romance is a bit far-fetched when Bruenhilda comes on as a two-ton Tessie.

The duet between Bruenhilda and Siegfried at the end of this Act was thrilling and the highpoint of the opera.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 4

2011-06-24T09:52:00.004+10:00

I have been awaking at odd hours of the night, and can’t get off to sleep when I get into bed. No doubt my body clock is taking time to adjust. It’s no surprise therefore that I did not amble out of the hotel in search of breakfast until 10.30am

I proceeded to Sears as they do a reasonable breakfast and was greeted by a sour puss I eventually found out was called Carol. She, I think, came with the place when it opened in 1938. She repeated my order 3 times, writing it down eventually and then got it wrong, serving me the general coffee slops rather than a Cappuccino, but hey, I’m on holiday so I stayed relaxed and didn’t care.

I had scrambled eggs, bacon and hash browns with a side serve of ham and sour-dough toast. I would have put the ham on the main plate and shoved the egg on the toast but the Americans are keen on all these side plates. I was shown two types of Tabasco sauce I might wish to avail myself of – but having tried it once, I stayed clear of it. There didn’t appear to be any Worcestershire sauce only the obligatory Tomato “ketchup”.

Carol managed to smile once, and I thought her face would crack – she even gave me a second cup of coffee.

It was such a nice day – effulgent sunshine and a cool, light wind – I decided to go to Golden Gate park and have a bit of a promenade.

To get there I took the Muni from Powell to Irving and 9^th. Now this is a train which goes through the subway system and when out in the ‘burbs becomes a tram along the street.

The first train I clambered on – with everyone else – I was required to get off – along with everyone else, as it was suddenly put out of service. Obviously San Francisco is learning the tactics employed by Victorian Railways in Melbourne.

It is only a short walk from the tram stop to the park and off I set on my 30 mile hike. Funny how distances don’t look all that great on a map!

I decided to circumnavigate Stow Lake, which had a few objet d’interest strewn around – but thankfully not so much as to resemble a theme park.

It was a lovely walk amongst the greenery and past the still waters of the lake with the island hill in the middle. Ducks and other birdlife were wandering around or sunning themselves without a bother in the world about the human beings in their close proximity.

What an awful thing it would be to shoot a duck, they are such nice and amiable animals. I saw woodpeckers flitting about, equally tame – and of course the obligatory seagulls and pigeons, the latter of which formed a carpet on the footpath. There were tortoises sun-baking on a log close to shore and dear little squirrels looking for some small morsel.

I encountered (a number of times) an idiot of the first water who had decided to commit suicide by a slow and torturous route. My first encounter with him - he was jogging, next he was doing one of those silly fast walks whilst lifting weights up and down in his hands. Then to cap it off I passed him a few times as he was using a park bench in order to facilitate in a number of stupid exercises in which he was immersed hell for leather. I felt sure I would see him carted off in an ambulance when I came to the end of my sensible walk.

There were a lot of Japanese people strolling around. They seem to appreciate the good things of nature more than Western people. One elderly Japanese lady was dwarfed by a shopping trolley laden down with at least half a dozen giant black plastic bags filled to the brim with used plastic bottles and tin cans,. She was obviously a park tidy-upper who earned a few bob on the side by way of the empties.

There were a few more mature ladies of the Dame Margaret Rutherford type in sensible shoes seated at easels with their watercolours daubing impressions of the scenery. I am no art expert, but from what I could see their eyesight must have been failing them.

I passed by a Chinese pagoda, a waterfall and a little stone bridge – all quite picturesque and commanding one to take a little snap for the album.

I came across the kiosk and boatshed, twice, which then prompted me to seek directions and find my way out before I passed it a third time.

I thought I was pretty good doing this walk until I was overtaken by geriatrics on zimmer frames and pensioners on walking sticks.

The 5 mile hike back to the tram stop was taken at a slower pace as my feet had started to hurt a bit from having to cart all the extra weight about. I just missed one tram – but another was along in no time.

From Powell Street I waltzed into Macy’s Menswear and bought some socks. It appears that the moths had got to all those that I had bought with me. On leaving Macy’s I went through the men’s fragrance department where two rather effeminate gay boys thought I may wish to cover myself in some spray that would have everyone thinking I had just emerged from an Algerian brothel. I politely declined and left them to giggle away.

I came back to the hotel and had some gelati and coffee in the wine bar. I did not feel at all guilty in consuming this little delight as I thought my marathon hike would have rid me of at least 30 pounds.

There are some pleasing snapshots rendered in natural colours accompanying this article:

In the evening I had dinner with a friend at "Kuleto's", the Italian restaurant attached to the hotel.

The design of the restaurant presents a pleasing ambiance, however the idea of an open fire in one part of it on such a hot day didn't go down so well - so I asked to be seated some distance from it.

Earlier in the day I had gone down to the restaurant, had a look at the wine list and selected a bottle of Paul Dolan, from the Napa Valley, cabernet sauvignon and asked them to uncork it at 5.00pm prior to our arrival at 7.30pm.

We had a nice seat nice to a glass wall which has an outlook on the lobby of the hotel and started off proceedings with a cocktail called a "Negroni", which from the first slurp we knew was overloaded with gin. It was a most excellent elixir though, so we had two each. For the entree I safely went with Minestone soup which was very thick and tasty. My partner had Sardines - which were the largest I had seen.

With the main course our selected wine arrived and I had Petrale Sole as I am keen on this fish and my partner decided on the duck. Both of our plates were well presented and what was on them was absolutely delicious. The wine was full bodied, flavoursome and an ideal accompaniment.

We finished off with a dessert, I had the obligatory Creme Brulee and suggested my partner try the Limoncello Tart as I had had this in the coffee shop a couple of days previous and found it scrumptious. My partner seconded this opinion. To accompany we had a couple of glasses of Muscat which tasted more like a fine Tokay.

A most enjoyable night of fine food and conversazione.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 3 - Die Walkuere

2011-06-24T01:51:00.006+10:00

The production commenced and one immediately radiated in the power of an 110 piece orchestra powering into the first bars of the overture. The orchestra lead by Donald Runnicles showed that they knew their onions and provided a worthy accompaniment to what was occurring on stage.

Act 1 is set in Hunding's house in the forest built around an enormous tree, which is, one supposes, to be part of a gold rush mining camp even though Hunding (Daniel Sumegi) is essentially a hunter and gatherer.

Hunding's wife Sieglinde (Anja Kampe) is confronted by an exhausted stranger. When Hunding arrives home the stranger gives a sorrowful lament which on hearing it makes Hunding realise that the stranger is a prey he hasn't finished off - so he tells the stranger he can stay the night but he is going to kill him the next day.

Sieglinde drugs Hunding in order that the stranger may escape and tells him about a sword stuck on the tree. The stranger realises that it was his father who put it there and what with one thing and another - Sieglinde and the stranger (now known as Siegmund - Brandon Jovanovich) are brother and sister and that their father was Wotan. Siegmund gets the hots for his sister, pulls the sword from the tree and the two lovers run off into the night.

The singing for the most part was superb although I think that they were warming up until Siegmund came to "Waelse, Vater..." here the singing became electrifying and the duet between Siegmund and Sieglinde towards the end of the Act gave one goose bumps.

Act 2. The scenery was rather spartan and good usage was made of rear projection on to a gauze drop. We are now in a 20th Century boardroom and Wotan and Fricka are directors of a corporation that runs Valhalla.

Wotan wants his daughter Bruenhilde INina Stemme) to protect his mortal son Siegmund in his ensuing fight with Hunding, but Fricka gets wind of his plans and is horrified at the adulterous and incestuous relationship between Siegmund and Sieglinda and persuades Wotan to instead ensure Hunding wins the fight.

Wotan had been grooming Siegmund to be a sort of "free hero" and probably the only one capable of getting the ring back for him.

Bruenhilde then appears to Siegmund and tells him to follow her into Valhalla after he carks it - but deeply moved at his refusal because of his love for Sieglinda, Bruenhilda decides to defy Wotan and allow Siegmund to win the fight.

When the battle finally begins Wotan appears. He is furious at Bruenhilda's treachery and shatters Siegmund's sword in order that Hunding wins. Wotan then kills Hunding. Bruenhilda gathers the broken sword and leads Sieglinda off to safety.

I must admit though that I could not understand the setting for Scene 2 of Act 2 which had Sieglinde reclining on a clapped out seat of an old Ford Prefect underneath a bridge with some old tyres and other litter srtewn about - but this is of course 'artistic'.

The singing for the most part was superb although I think that they were warming up until Siegmund came to "Waelse, Vater..."

Bruennhilde was a mere slip of a girl compared to the usual brick out-building figure as is normal. Surprisingly in such a light frame were a good pair of lungs and she managed to carry the role brilliantly with an amazing vocal power with a rich beauty in her voice; steely with tonal bloom and the full dramatic depth required in the role.

Act 3 commences with the "Walkenrift" and had Bruenhilda's sisters arriving by parachute. Quite a novel approach but effectively done.

In this act basically what happens is that Sieglinde wants to end it all now that she has lost Siegmund but Bruenhilda tells her she is bearing Siegmund's son who will turn out to be the greatest of all heroes. Wotan catches up with Bruenhilda and punishes her by sending her to sleep on a rock to be awoken by the first stranger to get to her. Bruenhilda pleads with Wotan for protection and he surrounds the rock with fire so only a hero will cross it

This final scene was magnificently done vocally and from the staging. It was quite awe-inspiring and left one with an enduring memory. The Wotan who was perhaps less appealing in the first Opera, came into his own sounding vigorous and appealing in this.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 2 - Das Rheingold

2011-06-23T08:29:00.003+10:00

"Das Rheingold" was given tonight by the San Francisco Opera as the first Opera in their Ring Cycle performances.

"Das Rheingold is perhaps the subtlest of the Wagnerian Operas starting as it begins almost imperceptibly with a slight rumbling from the double basses leading delightfully to an ever increasing but beautifully blended crescendo as the overture comes to a conclusion.

This production of the Ring Cycle has been in the capable hands of Francesca Zambello who has decided to place the works in an American historical context, if somewhat muted, ranging from the goldrush era to some not too distant somewhat sci-fi future. The interesting factor in this conceptualisation in that it works. The surtitles have also been up-dated to a vernacular Americans would be more comfortable with - often with quite amusing results.

Scene 1 of "Das Rheingold" is introduced from brenographed water effects projected before a gauze screen revealing an illuminated stage covered in fog and opera's answer to the Andrew sisters - the Rhine Maidens frolicking around and tempting Alberich (Gordon Hawkins) who eventually tricks them out of their gold. Good ensemble singing here and the trio voices of the Rhine Maidens rhythmic and well matched, whilst the Alberich seemed to flounder around somewhat both vocally and dramatically.

Scene 2 has us on a construction site with Wotan (Mark Delavan) lazing on an outdoor chaise lounge. It is in this scene that we are introduced to some of the leit motifs that feature some way or another in all of the Ring Cycle operas. It is at this point that I should remark on the excellent direction Donald Runnicles has given the orchestra. He has brought out every nuance in the music and favoured the sotto rather than the grand fortissimo often associated with the Wagnerian genre.

The reason why we are on a construction site is that Fasolt (Andrea Silverstrelli) and Fafner (Daniel Sumegi) are the two giants who have built Wotan's castle for him. They appear by descending on a girder from the flys and are effectively got up in denim overalls and size 65 boots - which they must have found difficulty walking around in?

The giants of course wish to be paid for their building works and decide that Freia (Melissa Citro) should be their reward. Wotan's wife Fricka (Elizabeth Bishop) of course objects to Wotan having promised her sister to the giants but of course Wotan does not intend to keep his word. The fire god Loge (Stefan Margita) who happens to be passing suggests that they might put off the giants' request for Freia, if the go and take Alberich's gold from him.

This scene is static and any action that does take place is a rather limited prancing about by the characters. This should be overshadowed of course by the orchestra and magnificent singing. In Fafner and Fasolt we had two marvellous bass baritones with stentorian voices of the required depth and audibility. The Fricka and Wotan were less vigorous than expected but the magnificent voice of Loge more than compensated for this trifle of a disappointment.

Scene 3 sees us in the Gold mine, very well presented on stage with copious children choreographed effectively as the mine-workers. Lighting effects also come into play and the entire scene presents a magical spectacle. We are again treated to Loge's magnificent tenor as he and Wotan confront Alberich who has had his brother Mime (David Cangelosi) make him a magical gold helmet that can transform the wearer into any size and shape. He demonstrates by transforming himself into a giant serpent - Loge then tricks him into transforming into a toad, whereupon both he and Wotan capture him and take him to the surface.

In Scene 4 we get a lot of things happening. Wotan and Loge inform Alberich can only be freed from capture if he yields to them his gold, the magic helmet (The Tarnhelm) and a ring he has had fashioned. Alberich then places a curse on the ring such that until it is returned to him, all bearers will be doomed.

The giants return with their hostage Freia and demand the gold, the Tarnhelm and the ring in order that she can be released. Erda (Ronnita Miller) then appears rising up from a trapdoor. She is the Earth Goddess and warns Wotan to yield the ring - spelling doom for the gods.

Wotan eventually surrenders the ring and Fafner kills his brother Fasolt in order to have all the treasure for himself. Fricka urges Wotan to turn his thoughts to Valhalla and Froh summons a rainbow bridge tio take them there - in this instance a gangway comes down from the wings and all drinking champagne ascend it.

The drama of this scene was well conveyed and although in a minor role, the Erda possessed a rich and commanding tone.

In essence this first part of the programme lived up to one's expectations and provided spectacle and entertainment value as well as a musical tour de force well received by the audience.

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 2

2011-06-22T07:50:00.002+10:00

I slept in today and didn't wake up until 9.30am. Not surprising due to the fact that I am older now (slightly!) and feel the time zone changes more.

I stayed doing computer type business until 11.30am and then ventured out to be greeted by a perfect San Francisco day. It's about 30 degrees, with a clear blue sky, full sunshine and a light breeze.

Then I headed up to Powell and Market and queued up and bought a 7 day transport pass. At $26 it is cheap when you consider that a single ride on a cable tram costs $5.

My first mission was to buy a pair of black trousers as the pair I have taken with me are clapped out and seem to have shrunk a bit. I went over to Bloomingdales at the Westfield Centre on Market and eventually found the menswear department. A Mr. Humphries type person greeted me and was most amused when I asked if he had anything that might fit a beached whale. As I expected, they only catered for the more svelte person, however he did recommend I try Nordstoms or Macy's.

As Nordstroms was in the same building, I enquired there of my order only to be told that they too had nothing close to fitting me - however the gentleman there said I should try Rochesters on Mission as they cater for the big and the tall.

A stroll down to Mission was not out of the way as I intended to dine there anyway. On entering Rochesters I soon found a shop assistant who measured me up, thumbed through a couple of piles of trousers and gave me a two pairs to try. The button burst off the first pair before I had even hitched them up, so they got the thumbs down. The second pair were obviously made for a man on stilts, but fitted perfectly everywhere else. Still, alterations are easy and everything would be ready for me tomorrow. My more mature friendly assistant enquired whether Sir required anything else. I said no and he said that I was evidentially a man on a mission.

It was lunchtime so I went to one of my favourite haunts, "Mel's" a diner on Mission that is all chrome and laminex. I had Roast Turkey and a glass of Root Beer. I couldn't help but notice again the funny way Americans eat. I call it the "shovelling method". They cut everything up either firstly or spasmodically, then use the fork in the right hand to shovel everything up. One fellow to my right was attacking a steak with his fist on a fork, whilst he sawed through the flesh with his knife.

I helped out some fellow Aussies who were asking for the bin - the rubbish bin, only to be greeted by complete bewilderment. I translated for them and said they wanted the trash can.

I have often wondered why people queue up (stand in line) for the cable tram at Powell & Market. The line was way down Ellis Street when I passed. It's much easier to walk a couple of blocks down Powell Street and then board the tram - which is exactly what I did. My first trip on the wonderful cable system this trip. (Would I miss the opportunity!) I alighted at California Street and then caught the cable tram from there down to the Embarcadero.

Here I wandered around looking at life in general and all the attractive scenery, before purchasing a little tub of gelato and sitting down for a while watching the yachts on the harbour with the Bay bridge in the background.

With all this walking around my feet were in the first instances of feeling the strain, so I took the electric tram back up Market street and went back to the hotel and rest up before the first opera in the Ring Cycle - tonight's "Das Rheingold"

Donald's Vacation 2011 - Day 1

2011-06-22T02:52:00.003+10:00

I was up at 3.30am. The alarm had been set for 4.20am. It was a matter of lying in bed waiting for it to go off. All then went by clockwork and I arrived at Ballarat Station 5 minutes before the transit bus was ready to depart, parking the car ready for 'valet service'.

The transit bus went to Tullamarine via Bacchus Marsh and Melton, stopping there for passengers who didn't eventuate. On arriving closer to the airport, the road was chockers, so we had to opt of the arrivals lane to be dropped off otherwise we would never have got to the terminal building within the next two hours!

I checked in and received instructions. My bag would be checked through to San Francisco, but I would have to collect it and pass it through customs at Los Angeles and then leave it on a transfer conveyer there. Also the aeroplane was delayed by 20 minutes.

I went to the Qantas Lounge to wait. It was full of the usual very important men who were on laptaps, mobile 'phones or reading the Financial Review. I immediately felt that I should sit there and read a Donald Duck comic - but unfortunately didn't have one on me.

I went and helped myself to some breakfast refreshment as after being up for so long, there were slight pangs of hunger. I had Muesli, fruit and juice whilst settling into a chair and watching the cognoscenti of the travelling set scampering past.

An announcement went over the Tannoy that Carolina was the barrista in charge of the coffee machine and that she would make you a very lovely hot chocolate or a cappuccino. I resisted a very strong urge to either sing or whistle, "Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning". I doubted whether those around me would have been familiar with Al Jolson's repertoire let alone knowing who he was in the first place.

There was a fellow behind me who was obviously a very important cog in the wheels of industry who was travelling with an underling and the two were having an earnest conversation in ordinary muffled tones, but I couldn't help but notice that every time he answered his mobile 'phone, his voice shot up by ten decibels so that everyone in the lounge could hear his very important instructions.

Another fellow to the left of me was on his laptop. He was on a page entitled "Senior Management" and was immersed in writing one of those circulars about appointments and changes that the real workers in companies are not the remotest bit interested in reading.

The 20 minute delay stretched on and the call to get on board came through closer to 11.00am.

On passing the line of those travelling in steerage I couldn't help but notice the apparel some had thought appropriate for air travel. One young man had decided on a sleeveless vest. he was obviously someone who worked on the docks in his spare time. Another older gentleman of my vintage was wearing a collar and tie over shortened cargo trousers and open sandals.

I sat in my chair next to where a window would have been if I hadn't been straddling the wing. I was next to a very pleasant women in her early 40's who had come down from Brisbane the day before.

The cabin crew were all women - some looked like grandmothers who had come back to work, but they were all very nice and attentive.

We were offered drinks before we went up, but I declined a champagne. A tad early at 11.00 in the morning I thought.

Eventually we were airborne for the 13 hour journey.

I had a G & T before luncheon and opted for Chestnut Soup, followed by long cooked Pork and finished with a Creme Brulee washed down with a couple of glasses of Shiraz and a dessert wine.
The soup was tasty, the pork would have been better if it had been served with roast potatoes rather than a few lengths of pasta and a pile of broccoli. The Creme Brulee did not have the usual coating of hard sugar. It was just a custard with a few what I thought were little nut sprinkles on top. The wines were excellent and our charming stewardess even tried to get me a Bortoli Noble One - but they had run out. She seemed to be keen on me for some reason or thought me rather eccentric.

I watched a picture with Matt Damon called "The Adjustment Bureau". I lightweight bit of nonsense that helped pass the time. Most of the time I sat there watching the route map seeing how much longer I had to sit there.

I tried out the chair which could be adjusted to a myriad of positions and even had a button you pressed to get a back massage! When I had the seat flat for sleeping, I turned over, and because of my bulk, must have accidentally hit the call button, because I suddenly found someone asking what it was I wanted.

I think I must have been so over tired with having had to get up so early, that I couldn't really get to sleep. I just had a series of dozes.

In what seemed like an eternity and after a light breakfast we finally landed at Los Angeles which as per usual was either cloudy or smog-laden.

The next three hours were taken up with queueing, The first long queue was for that procedure in the land of the free where you are treated as a criminal by having your fingerprints and photo taken. Next is the wait for the baggage, followed by the wait to go through Customs.

If this has not been enough to contend with, the next stage in the most unwelcome procedure is to proceed to another terminal only to find that the line to go through the boarding security check has gone outside the terminal building and it could be an hour before you actually get to the end of it.

Luckily I managed to get to the end of the line about 45 minutes before the aeroplane to San Francisco was set to take off. I was lucky as some fellow Australians in the line had to alert officialdom to the fact that they only had a matter of minutes to board their aeroplanes and that a delay in the queueing procedure would cause them to miss out. Their pleading in most cases resulted in being placed further up the queue, but the whole procedure at Los Angeles is shambolic at best and has been in a parlous state for years now. An improvement is long, long overdue.

After scrambling to get to the departure gate on time I found the connection had been delayed. The aircraft had not yet arrived!

After an hour's wait, we finally got on board. I was in first class - but it would be hard to discern what the difference was between it and 2nd class. Possibly there were less seats across? The service was so-so with the air hostesses preferring to talk amongst themselves rather than attend to passenger requirements. We were further delayed taking off by one passenger who had refused to stop a call on his mobile 'phone. It was a good thing he wasn't sitting next to me otherwise he would have found my foot crunching it to pieces.

By comparison the San Francisco terminals are bright, breezy and efficient. It took not time at all in the Caltrain to connect between terminal and so get to the BART train.

Whilst awaiting my baggage I soon myself in tow with a mature girl from the Sunshine Coast who tagged along with me as she hadn't been to San Francisco before and I obviously knew how to get to Fisherman's Wharf.

We had a nice chat on the train and I left her at Powell Street telling her to take the cable tram down to where it was she was headed.

How nice it is to walk into a hotel and be greeted by "Welcome back, Mr. Binks, so nice to see you here again". That made me feel wonderful, a seasoned traveller whose business was appreciated.

By this time I was dog tired and on being shown into my room which had been up-graded to a suite, I hit the sack for 7 hours or so.

In the evening on awaking I was a mite peckish and went off to one of my favourite diner haunts only to find it had shut at 8.00pm due to building works in progress. Not to worry, I went off to Sears in Powell Street and had a Caesar Salad and a Pot Roast before calling it a night and once again succumbing to the arms of Morpheus.

I Was Dumped!

2011-06-22T02:41:00.002+10:00

The following has been received from Bart ("First Dog" at Schaanwald and canine security operative)

I knew it! Well, I should have known since the moment I saw that suitcase on the bed in the spare room and him emptying drawers and all that. Every time he gets out a bag or a suitcase and fills it with stuff usually means that he disappears for a day or so - but with a big suitcase I had my suspicions that he was off for a longer time.

Also, I took Donald for a walk earlier in the day than we normally seem to do a tour of inspection - 9.30am - and we went out in light drizzle - something he normally doesn't like to be out in.

Then the final clue: He grabbed my bed and my toy box and put them in the car before putting that new harness thing on me and putting me in the car as well.

Of course I had the usual excitement of being in the car, going somewhere, but there was also a little apprehension as to where it was we were actually going?

He parked at this building and after a few initial sniffs, I was able to establish that I had been here before. I very nice lady then came and got us and took us down a few corridors and we were shown into this room. Donald took my harness off so that I could check it out. Yes, I had been here before and there was a lady dog in the room next door who was at the wire fence in my room's backyard just waiting to say hello. Perhaps this was not going to be as bad as I thought?

Donald's Taking Off!

2011-06-12T10:25:00.002+10:00

(Click on the photo to make it larger)

A New Silent Film!

2011-06-12T10:01:00.002+10:00

Generally, silent pictures which have been made since 1929 have been
comedy films or "observational" films such as those of Jacques Tati. I
may be wrong, but I don't think there has been what may be called an
ordinary run-of-the-mill dramatic feature.

I am therefore simultaneously amazed and gratified that someone has
had the courage to utilise the silent medium to once again make a
picture in pantomime.

"The Artist", a French production photographed in Hollywood with French and American actors and English inter-titles opened to rave reviews at the recent Cannes Film Festival. (The picture goes into general release later in 2011).

The director has proved himself canny in placing his story actually in
the period of the late 1920's when silent pictures found themselves
for the first time without a voice - so that a silent picture would
not come across with perhaps a total lack of vitality had it been
photographed in today's world. He has further emphasised a period
character by framing it in academy and utilising monochromatic film
stock.

I have only seen snippets of the film from the trailer, and what I
have seen shows that it appears to have many sumptuous qualities to
it. It also shows that the director has been able to convey thought by
way of suggestion in the pantomime.

No doubt comparisons will be made with the best of what was offered
during the "last" silent period. I have even heard remarks that the
lead in "The Artist" reminds them of John Gilbert or Douglas Fairbanks
- maybe it's the moustache? I only hope that we all judge the film on
the grounds of its ability to entertain and tell a story - that was
basically the premise of the original silent pictures.

Having always been of the opinion that silent pictures were a
different art form to talking pictures and that they should have had
the occasional exposure after Al Jolson opened his mouth; I am hoping
that this picture is a success at the box office and may lead to more
directors taking a foray into the silent world.

Today's audiences will find the experience a novelty - to begin with.
Maybe they will also find that silent pictures are a very emotional
experience and draw you into them with great power. Maybe they will
want more? Who knows? I think it will be wonderful to go the pictures
again and listen to beautiful music rather than profane language,
glimpse subtle acting and not look at hundreds of people being killed,
scores of cars crashed up, people running around without clothes on or
something blown up in the first ten minutes.

I am really looking forward to it!

National Australia Bank - the Bank that can only say "No".

2011-02-24T13:45:00.004+11:00

About three weeks ago I arranged to see someone at the Ballarat branch of the National Australia Bank and made an appointment for when she was to return from leave. At the time of making the appointment I explained exactly what my intentions were and asked whether the National Bank handled that sort of thing. I was assured they did because the person on the 'phone had done exactly the same thing.

After two weeks I drove into Ballarat - using up petrol for the 15km journey. Then I parked and coughed up money to feed the parking meter. I then trotted off to the bank for my appointment.

I wrang the wrist of the person I was to see, shown to a seat and then I came out with what it was that I wanted to see her about. Her first remark to me then was, "Oh, well, I'm sorry but the bank doesn't handle that sort of thing." "What?" I replied incredulously, "but when I rang up to make this appointment, I explained exactly what I wanted to do and was assured in no uncertain terms that the bank DID handle this sort of thing and that you were the person to see".

The appointment didn't last long, and the woman on booting me out of her office did discretely let me know of some other banks that may be able to handle what I wanted to do.

I then wasted some more of my petrol driving home after another of life's futile exercises.

Wait, that's not all!

I had to go into the bank again yesterday because someone had given me a cheque and I needed to bank it. I noted it that it was drawn on the same bank and branch as mine, so before going into the bank I arranged on my computer, for a transfer out of the account it was to be banked to and into another. This transfer to effect the next day.

When I went into the bank I said "Good morning" to the woman teller and then said that as the cheque I was banking was an account at their branch - they should be able to clear it straight away - it's not as if they had to send it anywhere. "No, can't do that", she said gruffly. "Why not?" I answered puzzled. "All cheques take three days to clear" she said robotically. "But that's ridiculous - you can look up that account on your computer, see if there's any money in the account and clear it, they bank here!" I said in return. This remark hit her and she was momentarily fazed, then she thought of another tack. "Ah! Yes, but it's crossed "not negotiable". You'd have to ask the person who wrote the cheque to open the crossing before we could do anything" She thought she had me there - but I persisted. "Crossing and "not negotiable" on a cheque according to the Bills Of Exchange Act means that a bank requires a cheque to be credited to a bank account and not cashed - it doesn't have anything to do with whether you can clear the cheque or not". Well that was it. She was definitely not going to do anything now that I had quoted the law at her, so she just smiled at me smugly, handed me back my deposit book asking me through her teeth, "anything else I can help you with today?" I decided against asking her to lay her head underneath any steamroller that may be passing.

The funny thing is this, - when I checked my bank account on the computer a couple of days later - the transfer I had wanted out of part of the cheque's proceeds had gone through and was showing as cleared funds in that account. The remaining balance of the funds in which I had deposited the cheque were showing as uncleared.

Ours is not to reason why.

2011

2011-02-24T13:31:00.002+11:00

So this is 2011 - Well, you're welcome to it!

Weather has gone crazy. Here in Australia we have come out of drought - and how! One minute there has been no rain in some areas for years, and then, all of a sudden, the skies open up and we're flooded. Victoria, parts of New South Wales and absolute devastation in Queensland. On top of that poor Queensland copped a cyclone!

Bad weather hasn't just happened here. The United States has had severe snow storms - and areas that normally don't get snow - like Georgia and Alabama have recorded falls for the first time in donkey's years.

Next the Middle East has broken out with cascading people's protests against the dictatorships that have been ongoing in some of the countries in the region fro decades. Tunisia was first - getting rid of their president, then it was Egypt's turn - putting an end to Mubarak's 30 year reign. At the moment of writing, Libyians are trying to get rid of Gadafi who's been the madman in charge for nearly 42 years; and the people are trying to overthrow the governments in Yemen and Algeria. Where is it all going to stop? And, what type of governments are going to replace the dictatorships? We can only hope that they don't go the way of Iran and end up with mad fundamentalist religious nuts in charge.

Next there has been a severe earthquake in Christchurch, New Zealand causing the worst disaster there in 80 years?

One can but ask - what's next?

Perhaps what they say about 2012 may have substance? Let us hope that things calm down a bit for the remainder of the year, people have been through enough already.

Donald & Bart's Christmas Greeting 2010

2010-12-16T17:04:00.000+11:00

Comparitively Speaking

2010-12-16T15:37:00.002+11:00

The Pubic Hare

2010-12-16T15:35:00.002+11:00

"Heartbeat" Finished

2010-12-16T14:52:00.005+11:00

One of my favourite shows on the box has been the long-running series "Heartbeat" set in the 1960's in a couple of little villages in the Yorkshire moors. I don't know what it was that got me hooked on this show. Perhaps it was its setting in the 1960's the era in which I grew up? Perhaps it was the idealised village and characters that made you feel as though you'd like to live amongst them? Speaking of characters - who could forget the shenanigans of that lovable rogue - Claude Jeremiah Greengrass and his perennial nemesis - Sargent Blaketon. I suppose like all good things, they must come to an end - but I am going to miss my weekly visits.

Situations Fraught with Danger

2010-12-16T14:48:00.000+11:00

Please follow the Instructions!

2010-12-16T14:41:00.005+11:00

(Please click on the photos to make them larger)

Opera great Joan Sutherland dies

2010-10-12T17:13:00.004+11:00

I first heard Joan Sutherland at the Princess Theatre in Melbourne in 1965 when she had returned to Australia for a short tour. Also in the company was a young Luciano Pavarotti. I think I was probably too young to have fully appreciated her at this time, but I made up for this in the 1970's.

The next time I saw Dame Joan was at Palais Pictures in St.Kilda where she was appearing opposite Anson Austin in"La Traviata". Even though I was sitting to the rear of the upper circle in that cavern of a building, I remember well her voice soaring up to reach me and when it did, goosebumps came up on the nape of my neck.

Whenever Dame Joan returned to Australia I made every effort to see her performances whenever I could. I remember at one time I travelling up to Sydney on the old "Spirit of Progress" arriving there in a rather disheveled state, looking like a worn out old dish rag. The opera I think was "Lucia di Lammamoor" which Dame Joan sang 233 times. Anyway a few friends and I went backstage in order that Dame Joan might sign our programmes. Of course, I was quite nervous and blurted out something inane like "We came up on the "Spirit of Progress" to which she quickly retorted, "Well, bully for you!" She was very gracious and didn't mind at all the hordes of people waiting to see her and sign things for them. Someone wished to take a photo - she didn't mind that either although she said "I'm not taking my sunnies off!" That was the thing with Dame Joan - she was so down to earth, there was nothing of the Prima Donna in her, she was just plain nice.

I think that I have been very lucky to see Dame Joan in so many differing roles and to hear that magnificent voice au natural. Luckily I will take these wonderful memories with me for the remainder of my life.

How much I enjoyed her in "The Bat". (She sang this in New York and a critic commenting on her diction said that she might as well have been singing in Hungarian. She replied in the paper that she actually was singing in Hungarian).

How much I enjoyed her in "The Tales of Hoffmann" this time sitting in a good seat in the dress circle of the Sydney Opera House and again hearing that beautiful voice soaring past me with all its extraordinary power and dazzling range.

Dame Joan was the finest colatura soprano of this century, a great credit to her native Australia and a warm and generous person.

My sincere condolences go to her husband Richard Bonynge and son Adam

Vale Harry Smart

2010-09-23T12:28:00.006+10:00

(photo: Harry in the middle with Tony and Peter)

Harry Smart, bon vivant, raconteur, gourmet, traveller and happy bundle of fun has died.

Harry was born in rural Victoria in 1940 but managed to escape in his teens to the bright lights of Melbourne where he felt more at home.

Harry was one of those creatures possessed of an effervescent personality, an infectious laugh and an engaging smile. He won friends easily and entertained them constantly with a steady flow of jokes, stories and bon mots. He was savvy, witty and immensely entertaining and also very funny. As an example, he turned to me one night after being introduced to the singer Afro Poli and asked whether his wife "Roly" was there as well. He had me in a giggling fit for the rest of the night.

Harry invigorated himself by travelling. In his professional life he had spent twenty-six years with Ansett-Pioneer (the bus company division of Ansett) and was retrenched in the late 1980's along with the rest of the staff shortly after company chairman Sir Peter Abeles had written to all staff informing them their jobs were safe. I too worked for a short time with this company where a lot of the very bright and alert managerial staff were ex-railways and thought the services would run a lot better if they didn't have passengers to contend with.

Harry next worked with ANZ Travel, usually with the telephone headset on trying to make up itineraries for people bereft of any geographical knowledge and not really knowing where they wished to go. Shortly after this stint he went into well-deserved retirement.

Harry's first trip abroad was the obligatory sea voyage in the early '60's to old blighty with a year or two working as a serf on a pittance in London. Harry had a job as a porter in a top drawer block of flats. He hated the way he was treated and it impressed in him a very early detestation of the class system and an admiration for those who strove for workers' rights. Luckily his ill treatment did not deter him from the cultural side of London life and in it Harry found the Opera and Ballet.

There were very few places on Earth that Harry had not been - and he had a story for each of them. One of his most delightful concerns his visit to a hotel in Moscow when Russia was still ruled by the Bolsheviks. He was dining in the ballroom and dinner dancing was in progress. In the middle of minding his own business, he was confronted by a large matronly Russian woman standing in front of him who before long was forcing him to his feet. She asked him if he was Russian to which he replied "No". She then went through "Francais?" and "Deutsch" to which Harry of course replied "Australian". The woman didn't seem to mind, "No matter! You dance!" Harry was then whisked around the dance floor whilst the woman spoke to him in Russian for the duration. He said it was one of the more surreal experiences he had had.

In his latter years, Harry had a fondness for travelling in the Far East and had been many times to Thailand. I and another friend met up with Harry in Thailand on one of these excursions and it was a delight to see him at meal times eagerly sampling the most exotic foods which some of us had decided to give a miss. He didn't particularly like the heat nor clambering around monuments which took a bit of an effort to get to. Of greatest appeal to him was the chance to be seated at a beach watching life go by or doing similar in a cosmopolitan bar. Above all he looked forward to meal times.

Of course his fondness for food led to an increase in his girth but he put himself down by referring to himself as "a stomach on legs", and when he laughed he was sometimes told to stop doing his 'impression of a jelly'.

Food was one of the most important components in Harry's life and he delighted in sampling all cuisines known to man. He loved frequenting restaurants in good company and could, if not prompted, spend a lifetime making up his mind what delightful dishes he wished to taste. He was equal to the chefs he sampled and often presented gourmet meals to lucky guests at his home. Some even flambe!

He had many other interests and in the main he concentrated on the theatre being devoted to Opera and Ballet. He loved the big spectacle and was enamoured of large orchestral works such as Strauss' "Alpine Symphony" and in Opera he leaned towards Wagner. For many years he subscribed to both the Australian Ballet's performances in Melbourne and the Victoria State Opera, attending in the company of his mother.

In his later years, Harry contracted diabetes and took up swimming and long walks in an endeavour to engage himself in more exercise. Earlier this year he found out he had bone cancer and that he would not survive for any great amount of time. He greeted this prognosis from his specialist with a typical Harry type remark - "Shit happens." After an initial time in hospital where he was confined to either bed or a wheelchair, he came good for a while and was allowed to return home. Alas the cancer caught up with him again recently and he succumbed to it on Tuesday morning.

There will be many of us who will miss this cheeky chappee, this mirth-giver and all-round cheery and happy person who came into our lives and radiated so much sunshine. Vale Harry!

Womanese

2010-08-26T12:18:00.000+10:00

You might want to click on this to enlarge it, (as the actress said to the bishop).

The 2010 Darwin Awards

2010-08-25T10:08:00.002+10:00

8th Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

7th Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

6th Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

5th Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was robbing. Death was caused when the long torch he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free, rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

4th Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

3rd Place
After walking around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter..Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONOURABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 a.m. So they lit a stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed

RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the
midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other (!) to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'shit happens'

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL!

Do Dogs go to Heaven?

2010-08-24T12:56:00.003+10:00

These two churches face each other across a busy street.

Broadcasting is Fun

2010-08-24T12:48:00.002+10:00

12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12.. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

Computer Addicts

2010-08-24T12:26:00.003+10:00

Contractor of the Year Award

2010-08-24T11:24:00.002+10:00

The Wonder of WD40

2010-08-24T11:16:00.001+10:00

Before you read to the end, does anybody know what the main ingredient of WD-40 is?

Don't lie & don't cheat.

I had a neighbor who bought a new ute. I got up very early one Sunday morning & saw that someone had spray painted red all around the sides of this beige truck (for some unknown reason). I went over, woke him up, & told him the bad news. He was very upset & was trying to figure out what to do.... probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open.

Another neighbor came out & told him to get his WD-40 & clean it off. It removed the unwanted paint beautifully & did not harm his paint job that was on the truck. I'm impressed!

WD-40 who knew?

'Water Displacement #40'.

The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent & degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by 3 technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a 'water displacement' compound. They were successful with the 40th formulation, thus WD-40. The Convair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you.

When you read the 'shower door' part, try it. It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass. It's a miracle! Then try it on your stove top ... Viola! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.

WD-40 uses:

1. Protects silver from tarnishing.
2. Removes road tar & grime from cars.
3. Cleans & lubricates guitar strings.
4. Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making them slippery.
5. Keeps flies off cows.
6. Restores & cleans chalkboards.
7. Removes lipstick stains. Also, if you've discovered that a tube of lipstick has been washed & dried with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 & rewash. Presto! The lipstick is gone!
8. Loosens stubborn zippers.
9. Untangles jewellery chains.
10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11. Removes dirt & grime from the barbecue grill.
12. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13. Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14. Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic & marble floors.
16. Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles & doors in homes.
18. It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar & scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish & you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
19. Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!
20. Gives a children's playground gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
21. Lubricates gear shift & mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers...
22. Rids kids rocking chairs & swings of squeaky noises.
23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows & makes them easier to open..
24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open & close.
25. Restores & cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
26. Restores & cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27. Lubricates & stops squeaks in electric fans.
28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, & bicycles for easy handling.
29. Lubricates fan belts on washers & dryers & keeps them running smoothly.
30. Keeps rust from forming on saws & saw blades, & other tools.
31. Removes splattered grease on stove.
32. Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35. Removes all traces of duct tape.
36. Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, & knees to relieve arthritis pain.
37. Florida’s favorite use is: 'cleans and removes love bugs from grills & bumpers.'
38. The favorite use in the state of New York, WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
39. WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures & you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
40. Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately & stops the itch.
41. Removes crayon from walls. Spray on the mark & wipe with a clean rag.
42. If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture & allow the car to start.

P.S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL.

Now Go & Try It

ID Card

2010-08-24T11:13:00.001+10:00

The other day I needed to go to the public hospital but not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my blue jacket and pinned on a plastic ID card that I had made off the Internet onto the front of my jacket.

When I went into the hospital, I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

Here's the patch.

Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service. It also works at Centrelink. It saved me 2 hours.

At the Laundry, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running.

Don't try it at McDonald's though..... The whole staff disappeared and l never got my order !!!!!.

Judge Judy

2010-08-24T11:09:00.001+10:00

Judge to prostitute : 'So when did you realise you were raped?'

Prostitute, wiping away tears: 'When the cheque bounced.'

The Global Financial Crisis Explained

2010-08-17T09:44:00.001+10:00

Helen is the proprietor of a pub in Liverpool.

She realises that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronise her pub.
To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.

She keeps track of the drinks consumed in a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around about Helen's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Helen's pub.

Soon she has the largest sales volume for any pub in Liverpool .

By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Helen gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for beer and lager, the most consumed beverages.

Consequently, Helen's gross sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic bank manager at the local bank recognises that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets, and increases Helen's borrowing limit.
He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's headquarters, expert traders transform these customer loans into ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS.

These securities are then bundled and traded on the international security markets.

Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics.

Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.

One day, even though the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Helen's pub.

He so informs Helen.

Helen then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but, being unemployed alcoholics, they cannot pay back their drinking debts.

Since Helen cannot fulfil her loan obligations, she is forced into bankruptcy.

The pub closes and the eleven bar staff lose their jobs.

Overnight, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS drop in price by 90%.

The collapsed bond asset value destroys the banks liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.

The suppliers of Helen's pub had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the various BOND securities.

They find they are now faced with not only having to write off her bad debt, but also with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.

Her beer supplier claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations and her lager supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.

Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multi-billion pound, no-strings attached cash infusion from their cronies in Government.

The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who have never been in Helen's pub.

Understand now?

Baby's First Visit to the Doctor

2010-08-16T13:37:00.002+10:00

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, Checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

'Breast-fed,' she replied.

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight.
You don't have any milk.'

'I know', she said , 'I'm his Grandma, But I'm glad I came.'

NAMING THE FATHER FOR CHILD SUPPORT IN AUSTRALIA

2010-08-16T13:33:00.000+10:00

The following are all replies that Sydney Western Suburbs women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details: These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Trev Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives an Excel that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact Excel dealers in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the NSW economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

6. I do not know who the father of my child was as all soldiers look the same to me. I can confirm that he was an infantryman.

7. Bazza Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Dreamworld

9. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Jamie Oliver did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.

10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby; after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart !

My Living Will

2010-08-16T13:27:00.000+10:00

Last night, some children and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them,

‘I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

They got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine!!!!

The little bathplugs ..........

This Year's Australian Federal Election

2010-08-16T12:50:00.003+10:00

It has come time with elections to now vote into power a group of people who will create the less damage. Gone are the days when we would be presented with a vision of the future by persons who would do their best to create it. No, we are governed these days by people who are only in politics to further their own power base or to join a club of procrastinators.

We only to have a look at the current campaign - or lack of it to see just how lack lustre the whole process has become. The only tangible platform being presented is showing the opponent in a bad light - hardly anything constructive. I personally have no idea what either main party intends to do on gaining office - other than fiddling around with a framework that already exists.

It also seems to me that politicians have very little conception of the value of money - the way they talk in billions for this, hundreds of millions for that - such that if spending blows out on something or other to the tune of one or two million - it doesn't really matter. The reality of course is that most of the population are struggling to pay off a mortgage on ever increasing house prices and finding that the ordinary everyday cost of basics is continually spiraling upwards. Money - or the lack of it, is of real concern to most.

There was a time when we had free education and a free hospital system - but somehow the wheels have fallen off both these necessities - such that we have to import foreign students paying high tuition fees in order for seats of learning to survive. Hospitals cannot cope- if you cannot afford to privately pay for your operation and chance yourself to the public system - you stand a real chance of expiring before you can get a bed. How has this happened? What has gone wrong?

Our manufacturing industries no longer exist, we spend very little on research and development - and when somebody does come along with a wondrous invention - we allow it to be sold off overseas. Australian companies are increasingly becoming foreign owned, farmers are encouraged to walk off the land and money is virtually only being made from mining and service industries. Because of this 'level playing field' - we are increasingly more reliant on importing our needs.

Our major cities are bursting at the seams, suburbs are now being created miles away from anywhere and the infrastructure to support them is non-existent. In fact infrastructure has not been planned to keep up with the increasing population. We are trying to live in 21st Century cities with services created before the first half of the 20th Century.

And what do the cognoscenti decide should be done? Why, their answer is easy - limit the population and put a stop to immigration. How short-sighted. Granted, we need to put everything in place needed to cater for our current population - but that doesn't mean we can't plan ahead. We just don't stop because someone has decided it has become too hard.

What we really need in politics are people who can think further ahead than the next election. We need people who can't be bothered tinkering around with silly things like whether we should be a monarchy or a republic. We need people who can make decisions, now! - and not place decision making in the hands of endless committees and think tanks. We need people who can deliver things Australia really needs - why don't we yet have a super fast railway between Melbourne, Sydney, Canberra and Brisbane? What has happened with Sydney's new airport? And so one can go on and on...

Think of all this when you cast your vote on Saturday.

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark

2010-07-20T14:15:00.001+10:00

One : Don't miss the boat.

Two : Remember that we are all in the same boat.

Three : Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

Four : Stay fit When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

Five : Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

Six : Build your future on high ground.

Seven : For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

Eight : Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

Nine : When you're stressed, float a while.

Ten : Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

The Password

2010-07-20T14:10:00.000+10:00

A woman was helping her husband set up his new computer, and at the appropriate time in the process, told him he would now need to enter a password.....

Something he would use to log-on. something that he would remember.....

Her husband was in a rather devilish mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.......

So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in:

P....

E...

N....

I....

S..

His wife fell out of her chair laughing when the computer replied:

***PASSWORD INVALID............NOT LONG ENOUGH***

The Kind-Hearted Lawyer

2010-07-20T14:06:00.000+10:00

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.He asked one man,

"Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,

"Sir, you are too kind.Thank you for taking all of us with you.."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high. You can eat as much as you like of it"

Some Priceless Observations

2010-07-20T13:56:00.002+10:00

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible

- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

- Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

- Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

- Rodney Dangerfield

Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

- Spike Milligan

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .

- Joe Namath

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..

- W. C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..

- Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

- Billy Crystal

Old is When....

2010-07-20T13:52:00.001+10:00

'OLD'
IS WHEN ...
Your sweetie says,'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD'
IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD'
IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD'
IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD'
IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of the Police.

'OLD'
IS WHEN...

'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

OLD'
IS WHEN...

'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot ...

'OLD'
IS WHEN...

An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

'OLD'
IS WHEN....
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.

Lovemaking tips for seniors...

2010-07-20T13:44:00.001+10:00

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember ...

6. Use extra Polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act ...

8. Make all the noise you want .... the neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news !!!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice

A Warning to Male Shoppers

2010-07-20T13:37:00.002+10:00

Be watchful...

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall
and in dark parking lots.

This is the first warning I have seen for men.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Safeway's or Bunnings
customers. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam
while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to
be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen
to you.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as
you are packing your boot They both start wiping your windshield with
a rag and Windex, with their bosoms almost falling out of their skimpy
tops. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer
them a tip, they say, 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to
McDonald's.

You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start
undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts
crawling all over you while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen July 7th, 9th, 10th, & 12th and twice already today and very likely this
upcoming weekend.

What a horrible way to take advantage of older men. Warn your friends
to be vigilant.

Target has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for
$1.99 at Reject Shop and the Dollar Store and bought them all. Also,
you never will get to eat at MacDonald's. I've already lost 11 kilos
just running back and forth to Safeway's and Bunnings.

Seems like no one is safe anymore!

Alzheimer's Test

2010-07-20T13:35:00.001+10:00

How fast can you guess these words?

1. F_ _K

2. PU_S_

3. S_X

4. P_N_S

5. BOO_S

6. _ _NDOM

Answers:

1. FORK

2. PULSE

3. SIX

4. PANTS

5. BOOKS

6. RANDOM

You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?

Donald's Vacation 2010 Day 19 (11/7/2010)

2010-07-19T10:56:00.003+10:00

Surprisingly enough, I managed to get a few hours sleep on board the aeroplane. Getting a window seat helps as you can prop the pillow against the window rather than try and sleep straight up in the chair.

I sat next to a couple from Adelaide of the same vintage as myself. he was awaiting the red plonk with the meal as he said that would knock him out. It did. I though have found that drinking on board an aeroplane produces one of the three following effects - (1) That it increases one's visits to the lavatory (2) Increases one's awakeness - so that sleeping becomes harder and (3) Dehydrates one.

Eventually the aeroplane landed in Sydeney at 6.30am.

The routine was then much the same as per usual. Walk miles to try and find your baggage, then stand in a queue for hours on end waiting to go through Immigration. Luckily I passed again through Customs without let or hindrance.

To get from the International Terminal to the Domestic Terminal at Mascot involves waiting for a bus which is boarded next to the waste collection bins. The drive is quite long as the International Terminal was built nowhere near the airport.

It was with some relief that I managed to get on board the aeroplane for Melbourne in time for it to take off.

I sat in a window seat next to an exit and had to be instructed in emergency procedure by the air hostess - which made me blanche a little at the prospect that I might have to be relied upon in case something happened.

The man I was sitting next to got annoyed that the large suitcase he managed to sneak on board would not fit in any of the overhead lockers - as they were full already. Eventually the hostess found somewhere to put it - but it really annoys me when people bring such large items on board with them rather than checking them into the hold like we normal people do.

The ride was a trifle turbulent as we flew through quite a lot of cloud.

Finally we landed - but my journey was not yet over. I had to get on the Shuttle Bus to Ballarat.

I eventually found out from where it went, and after waiting for 10 mins for people who didn't show up - we left with about 10 people on board.

The weather in Melbourne is atrocious - for someone who has just left 33 degree heat. It is cold with a biting wind - about 8 degrees and rain is threatening.

I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Ballan where one person was deposited. I then semi-dozed into Ballarat and to the railway station. By this time it was raining. I got my car key and bundled my luggage in the car and drove straight to Bart's holiday home.

Bart greeted me like a long lost friend. He was in quite a state. He had been out in the rain and was wet and dirty. A sorry sight. The Kennels were supposed to have bathed him - but didn't expect me back so soon - so I took him as was and decided to bathe him when I get home.

I am glad to be home. Three weeks is a long enough time to be away. Everything feels a bit strange at first as you are still in your holiday frame of mind and the actual holiday seems a bit like a dream.

I don't think I want to go on an aeroplane for quite a while - but I do have a couple of suggestions for the powers that be. Why don't they inject passengers for long flights with a sleeping serum and lay them on stretchers. These stretchers could then be loaded horizontally on to the aeroplane. It would prove beneficial for the aeroplane companies as they could fit more people in and would not have to have air hostesses feeding people. Also, if the aeroplane fell down you'd never know as you would be out to it. On landing, the stretchers would just be unloaded into a hall and you left there until you woke up.

Another suggestion - if you are on a non-stop aeroplane that goes for example from Sydney to San Francisco why cannot there be U.S. Immigration procedures at Sydney - before you get on the aeroplane? Alternatively could not an aeroplane committed to servicing the U.S., be fitted with the equipment necessary for U.S. Immigration - and you do it whilst on board the aeroplane en route?

Just some ideas.

Hopefully I will win Tattslotto any day soon now and will not have to worry much about aeroplane travel as I will in then be tucked up in my bed in First Class.

Donald's Vacation 2010 Day 18 (10/7/2010)

2010-07-18T19:09:00.006+10:00

Today was slightly less muggy - or have I just got used to it? I have to get up late and have breakfast about 9.30am as it is no use going out before this time due to the crowds on the trains and nothing is open.

This morning I headed in the general direction of Sunshine City. I don't have an actual street map - but a map showing a few main streets and an asterisk with a number showing where things are. It makes finding things harder when all the street names are in Japanese - you sort of have to head towards where you think something might be and hope for the best. As well as this is the street numbering nightmare. Numbers are allocated to the most important buildings in the street in order. So you could find No. 1 in the middle of the street and no 2 on the corner four blocks down. Anyway I did come across Sunshine City after asking directions of a matronly, but kind, Japanese woman. I have found "arrigato" (Thank You) a useful word.

Sunshine City is a huge office tower and shopping mall complex - which I would have avoided had it not been for the fact that it has an observation deck on the 60th floor. So here now are some aerial panoramas of Tokyo.

I find Tokyo a very hotch-potch type of city and think that if there is ever another earthquake (Heaven pray there isn't) - but if there is, the whole place could do with being re-designed so that everything is more logically placed.

The city has some fine wide boulevards, but there are myriads of what we call lanes, here, there and everywhere. What spoils the vista is the untold misery of telegraph poles and electric wires all over the place.

Houses are on top of each other. There are some that resemble a small brick veneer in the suburbs but I saw a lot of flats that looked very much like motel units. Then everywhere are high rise apartment buildings - some not much better than the Housing Commission variety.

I was surprised to see houses right under high tension electric wires. One of the towers was in someone's back yard. Anything like this just would not be allowed in Australia!

In the early afternoon I took a walk around the high rise business district of Shinjuku. Whilst there I visited a departmental store. I wanted some clip on sunglasses. What a consternation I caused. Most shop assistants who don't speak any English have learned to say "Just a moment prease" phonetically. So - my query went through three or four girls in order of seniority, then to the floorwalker and then to the floor manager. Eventually one of them came back with a ten page map of the store and told me that I could be attended to on the 7th floor. And - I was - with courtesy and efficiency.

At 2.00pm I returned to the hotel in order to freshen up yet again, pay my bill and depart on the 4.00pm Skyliner train to the airport. This train takes 56 minutes but a new service is soon to be inaugurated which will reduce this time to 36 minutes. (Why can't our transport people learn something from the Japanese train people?)

When I got to the airport I found that the Qantas check in would be opening at 5.00pm and when I got in line at this time the entire staff was in a circle up one end having a mothers' club meeting. They didn't get behind their desks until 5.20pm - which according to a regular traveler through Tokyo airport is quite normal.

When I presented my ticket I learned that the 747 aeroplane I was booked on had been replaced with a smaller aeroplane by Qantas owing to the wing or engine having fallen off the 747. This meant that there were 100 passengers too many to fit on the replacement aeroplane.

I was asked whether I would mind travelling on a Japanese aeroplane. I accepted, thinking that it could not be any worse than travelling steerage on Qantas.

Getting me on the new aeroplane must have been a very tricky thing to process as it took a lot of talking in Japanese amongst all the girls, keying things into computers and of course the endless wait.

Eventually I was 'processed' and proceeded to the Qantas lounge. Luckily it was right next to the gate where I would board the aeroplane in 2 hours.

I relaxed, ate a little and read some newspapers with the hoi polloi posing as movers and shakers and then went to board the aeroplane.

I must say that it was a lot more comfortable than Qantas - I felt as though there was more room, and there were about ten more air hostesses than Qantas - all young Japanese girls with big smiles. Service was fast - we didn't see one section get a meal and then wait about an hour before our section get fed - on Japanese aeroplanes everyone seems to get fed at once - and the food was good too.

I was so tired I tried to get to sleep as soon as I could.

Donald's Vacation 2010 Day 17 (9/7/10)

2010-07-09T08:25:00.005+10:00

This morning I rode the monorail into the futuristic and sometimes bizarre island of Odaiba. Here are some photos which speak louder than words:-

In the afternoon Donald received the call of Keiko (a friend of Garry and Yoshi) and entertained her to afternoon tea.

Donald's Vacation 2010 Day 16 (7/7/10)

2010-07-08T07:30:00.015+10:00

I went to sleep yesterday afternoon intending to have a nap and then go out in the evening. As it was I slept through until 4.00am this morning! I didn't get up though. I got up at 7.00am and went downstairs and had breakfast. They had both European and Japanese style. I had a look at the Japanese offerings and decided that it was a little too early in the morning to face up to rice and raw fish etc., so I opted for the European. Yes, I know, chicken.

After breakfast I had a walk around the park opposite the hotel. It was still humid and overcast and raining slightly.

The park seems to be a lake mostly with lillies in it and a promenade around it.

After my walk I went back to the hotel. It is pointless to go anywhere before 10.00am as it is peak hour before then and anyway the shops don't open until after 10.00.

So at 10.00 I went to the Metro station and of course found my way to the wrong platform. A very nice young man with the railways knew what I had done and escorted me to the right platform. I always think it advisable to adopt the Dame Margaret Rutherford persona when travelling around in foreign countries. You try to look bewildered, confused but at the same time you act with the utmost amount of charm and good manners. It works a treat.

I alighted in the Ginza district and to Sony House to be precise but it was hit until 11.00am so I had a half hour's stroll around this shopping precinct and arrived back at Sony House, hot and bothered just as it was opening.

Japanese stores employ women who stand around and say good morning and bow to customers. It's rather funny.

I went to the 7th floor and saw a demonstration of 3D TV. I don't think they have perfected it - yet. Sometimes it looks a little odd and I think if you watched it for too long you'd get a headache.

I had a look at all the other latest gizmos and gadgets on other floors. They had a TV camera that would fit in your trouser pocket and photographed in High Definition and Cinemascope. Amazing.

A lot of the other stuff were things I didn't know what they did - and the descriptions were in Japanese - besides I think I have enough electronic gear at home as it is!

I then took the Metro to "Electric Town". You know changing train lines here to complete your journey is an exercise in keeping fit. Sometimes you have to walk miles! On the trains I studied faces and came to realise that there are Heinz 57 varieties of Japanese. The trains are exceptionally clean and nothing is vandalised. I also saw a few old Japanese men and wondered what they were doing 60 or so years ago.

At "Electric Town" I bought an exchange plug as the American adapter did not work in Japan and I had used up all the battery power in my notebook. I also had a bite to eat here.

Next stop were the gardens of the Imperial Palace - the closest you can get to the Palace. The area is an island with a moat around it. The tall buildings are in close proximity and I suppose if you had field glasses you could see the Emperor and Mrs. Emperor taking tea on the back stairs.

There were police on duty at a small station at the gates and I said "Tell his nibs, Binks is on the way and could they whip up a bunch of scones". (Only jokin')

I had a long walk around this beautifully laid out gardens, but had to take a few sit downs due to the humidity, perspiration and legs becoming weary. Groups of Japanese tourists passed me and bowed and smiled.

Eventually I had to leave and walk back to the station. By this stage my legs were on reserve power. I got back to the hotel at 4.00pm and collapsed in a heap - absolutely worn out. Hopefully I might have shed about 100 kilos.

Donald's Vacation 2010 Day 15 (6/7/10)

2010-07-07T08:47:00.006+10:00

Once again I am on a long distance, gruelling aeroplane ride. At the moment we are now up level again with Seattle about three hundred miles out over the Pacific Ocean. This aeroplane run by American Airlines is better appointed and a little more comfortable than the Qantas Jumbo Jet I managed to survive from on the way to the U.S.

We have so far had nibbles – a Club Soda and pretzels, followed by a meal – beef and mashed potatoes, salad, a Japanese platter, biscuits and cheese and a caramel cake. Again much better than the swill served on Qantas.

It is three hours into the flight and there are another seven and a half hours to go! I mistakenly thought it would only be about eight hours. Oh well.

Today I had to get up at 4.30am and take a taxi to the airport at 5.00am. I had to take a taxi as the shuttle bus, stopping at just about every hotel in Seattle would have taken too long. As it is – it takes about half an hour to get to the airport. So instead of $15, I had to pay $32 plus tip - which is not bad, I suppose.

Everything proceeded quite smoothly. A very nice lady at the Alaskan Airlines desk checked my bag in right through to Tokyo and also gave me a boarding pass for the aeroplane from Seattle to Los Angeles and for the aeroplane from Los Angeles to Tokyo.

When I first saw the line for the security check, I nearly dropped dead. It was snaking along for about 1,000 metres before you even got to the stantioned section. Luckily a security lady soon came along and ushered us to another area where there was less of a queue..

On this queue we didn’t have to wait all that long to go through the palaver of taking our belts, jackets, hats and shoes off etc., This time also, I was able to go through the beeping device without setting it off.

As I had an hour before the aircraft boarded, I took the opportunity to have breakfast.. There weren’t all that many choices and I opted for “Wendy’s”, having a small bun with egg and bacon in it, an orange juice and a cinnamon slice, the latter was too sweet for me to finish it. I was able to sit in a very nice area with large windows overlooking where the aeroplanes go up and come down.

The aeroplane ride to Los Angeles was just over two hours and for most of the journey there wasn’t any cloud cover, so I was able to look at the changing landscape for something to do.

When we landed at Los Angeles we had to wait on a taxi way for quite some time until we obtained a park at the terminal.

As I had come in at Terminal 3, I had then to get a shuttle bus to Terminal 4. It was about a 20 minute wait.

The one good thing was that I did not have to go through security again, so I headed straight for the Qantas lounge as I had to while away about three hours.

As it turned out the lounge was next door to Gate 41 where I would be boarding the aeroplane. It is an enormous expanse and very confusing trying to find out where everything was. I eventually found out where the juices were available and sat in a comfortable chair with my notebook thinking that they would have a wi-fi service. When I couldn’t connect I went around to the desk to enquire about why I couldn’t get on it -you have to pay for it! Funny how the3 airport at Seattle provides it throughout the Terminal gratis, but after paying Qantas a lot of money to join their Club, you have to pay $8.99 an hour to use it. Anyway they had computers available so I used one of these to bring the previous parts of this blog up to date.

Time went fairly quickly typing away and after doing ‘my business’, I had a cup of coffee and a biscuit and next minute they were calling for me to board. Once again I was held up in the boarding queue. There was apparently something wrong with my boarding pass – but I got it back after a couple of minutes . I thought I was being upgraded to First Class, but this flight of fancy was soon dispelled – and here I am..

This was another long aeroplane ride, but the comfort on board this American Airlines Boeing was a little better than the utmost of crampedness on Qantas cattle class. The food was even marginally better.

I tried to watch a picture but could not hear the soundtrack very clearly through the headphones so abandoned the attempt. Instead I whiled away some of the hours on my notebook, blogging, photoshoping and playing patience.

I managed to doze off here and there. I had a window seat so I was able to put the pillow against the window shade in order to find some degree of comfort and a position affording some ability towards sleep.

I don't know why it is, but when I get on board aeroplanes, something seems to go haywire with my digestive system - or the lower part of it. I had to disturb the poor Japanese woman about 5 times in order to get to the lavatory.

Eventually we landed at Narita airport. After getting off the aeroplane we had to walk about three miles to the shuttle train platform. It was a ten minute wait for a 2 minute ride to the main terminal.

At the main terminal we waited for ever in line in high humidity in order to go through Immigration - where we were photographed and fingerprinted.

By the same token, I walked through Customs without any difficulty whatsoever.

In the main concourse I changed my US money to Japanese money and came across a coin with a hole in the middle - this is a 5 yen piece.

Next I bought a ticket fore the Skyliner train into Tokyo and headed towards the platform. A train came and I got on board just as the doors were closing. It was then that I realised that this wasn't the Skyliner train - but an ordinary suburban train. I think I must have been in a bit of a trance from the journey and did not pay much attention and just tried to get on board the train before it took off. Anyway, this train was going where I wanted to go - just that it was going to take a little longer.

I think Narita airport must be as far away from Tokyo as Ballarat is from Melbourne as it took about an hour and a half on the train to get to the station near my hotel.

It took me a little while to get my bearings from the station. There are so many exits and you have to pick the right one! Anyway I finally found the hotel after taking a couple of wrong turns and checked in.

This was a bit of an exercise. You see when I made the booking I had forgotten about the International Dateline, and they had expected me yesterday. Well yesterday no longer existed and instead of still being Monday it was now Tuesday. Finally we got sorted and I got to my room which was a nice two-roomed apartment on the 7th floor overlooking Ueno Park. The bathroom is a bit cramped and features a toilet with a heated seat - which gives one quite a shock at first if you are not expecting it. The toilet also has two bidet type features - I would like one for home (grin). The shower area is a a wet room. The bedroom is just big enough to house a double bed.

I turned on the TV to see what was on. Nothing much. The Japanese seem to go in a lot for game shows - and they are rather perverse. One featured a guy who had to put his hand under a tap and then they turned on scalding water. The Japanese delight in seeing people suffer does not seem to have dissipated much. The rest of the stations were swamped with ads, and I came across two channels that featured 'art movies'.

I was so worn out, that I decided against going out and went to bed, drifting off to sleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.

Donald's Vacation 2010 Day 14 (4/7/2010)

2010-07-06T04:28:00.004+10:00

This was "Encore Day" as the main part of the convention concluded last night.

I awoke feeling rather seedy after the battle with the gin bottle the night before - but put it down to the price you have to pay for having fun. After all you only live once as they say in the classics.

I didn't have breakfast (not surprisingly) and just settled for a cup of strong coffee part of which I succeeded in spilling on my shirt front.

We left at 8.00am for Maple Valley which our bus captain described thus:
"We are going to Maple Valley, which has a lot of Maple trees, and it's in a Valley..."

Our location was a huge shed in a semi-wilderness area miles away from anything. In the shed -known as "Tahoma Studio" were bits of machinery and organ parts here and there - including a couple of consoles. There was seating arranged facing one of the walls and high on this wall were 6 organ chambers and a long bench on which some of the organ's instruments and traps sat. The console itself was in the middle of the shed and the seating faced it. On the back wall of the shed, to our left were the huge 32 foot wooden diapason pipes standing from floor to ceiling - an impressive sight.

Walt Strony opened proceedings with "In the Land of the Pharoahs" - a nice quiet number (grin) which showed the power of the installation. Walt's style is definately symphonic and he entreated us also to a selection from "Porgy & Bess"

After the concert we were driven to an awful shopping mall type complex at Auburn where we had to make our own lunch arrangments. I decided on having a hamburger at "Johnnie Rockets" one of those diner style affairs. I had a St. Louis Special with a glass of root beer served by a 13 year old boy.

After this delightful repast I went to another shop and bought one of those soft ice-creams served in a little plastic cup after which I went on a tour of the complex. It was just shop after shop selling the most tacky rubbish you have ever seen.

At 1.00pm we went to Gig Harbour and to a house known as "Wurlitzer Manor". A 4/48 Wurlitzer is housed here in what must be the biggest living room I have ever seen. The roof alone must have been 50 foot high and the breadth of the room must have been 60 to 80 foot.

The polished black organ console sits in front of a wall behind which the organ chambers which consist of glass windows in the lower part with the shutters above them. The traps and instrumental parts of the organ are on shelving right at the top of the chambers near to the ceiling.

A concert was given by another English organist - Richard Hills, who presented a programme of some English music and he also included a selection from "The Vagabond King" by Rudolf Friml, one of my favourites. Richard was also joined later in the proceedings by Simon Gledhill when they played duets on the piano (Richard) and organ (Simon).

After listening to this organ in this spectacular room we were taken back to the hotel and the convention ended.

I went straight to my room, ordered a bite to eat and went to bed early. I had yet another morning coming up where I had to get up at 4.30am!

Donald's Vacation 2010 Day 13 (3/7/2010)

2010-07-06T04:04:00.004+10:00

This was to be the official closing day of the convention although there were events scheduled for the following day as "Encore Day"

Again an early start and breakfast before boarding the buses at 8.30am. At least we weren't going as far today and our first port of call was the Calvary Church a little way out of Seattle. This houses a 3/19 Kimball-Wurlitzer hybrid with a classical style console rather than the classic horseshoe arrangement.

Scott Foppiano - another rather large man - was our recitalist and we had to stand at the end for the American National Anthem through which a huge American flag was raised at the back of the auditorium.

We were then whisked off to the Bastyr University - which offers courses in Naturapathy. The University occupies buildings which once were utilised as a Roman Catholic seminary and the organ for today is housed in the former church.

We were ushered to the mess hall and lined up for our food portions and today we had pasta with sauce, some bread, salads, fruit, a piece of cake and lemonade. Everybody seemed pleased on the improvement over the usual boxed lunch.

The actual church part of the building was designed in the 1950's and is quite tasteful actually with a lot of wood utilised. Apparently it was designed to house an organ but one has yet to be installed - so today's concert was on an Allen digital theatre organ.

Jelani Eddington gave the recital showing the organ to its best advantage. A few organ buffs I know said that it was OK but lacked sufficient bass and wasn't a patch on the real thing.

The University is currently on a funds drive to obtain an organ to install.

We left the University at 3.30pm for the hour drive back to the hotel. We then had an hour to change into our evening finery for the banquet at the Paramount Theatre.

We arrived at the theatre by Shuttle Bus at 6.00pm and I was surprised at the number of people who hadn't bothered to dress in anything different from the clothes they wore on the bus rides. A few including myself made a bit of an effort.

We had quite a long wait in the foyers before the doors opened to where the stalls seating had been the other night. Still it gave one time to have a drink and a bit of a natter before the festivities proper started.

The stalls had been transformed to a level floor covered in tables.

I had forgotten which table number I was sitting at and had to wait around until I saw a familiar face whom I knew was sitting at my table before I could sit down.

We all introduced ourselves and I sat next to a guy from Canada who has owned quite a number of organs over the years. On my right was one of the directors of the American Theatre Organ Society and at my table were David and Jo-Anne Johnstone and another two Australian couples.

Our dinner was quite nice and we had red wine with it - although the latter was a bit slow in coming.

After dinner the ATOS presented their awards for the year and then Jim Riggs gave us a concert on the 4/20 Wurlitzer presenting a lot of nice music from the 1930's - most of which I knew of course!

When the bus got back to the hotel most of us made a b-line for the B23 bar on the 23rd floor. I got stuck into the gin and had a very pleasant night firstly talking to some interesting people and then talking Swahili to others as the night progressed past midnight. We all got thrown out at 2.00am.

Donald's Vacation 2010 Day 12 (2/7/2010)

2010-07-06T03:55:00.003+10:00

At long last we had a bit of a respite from the hectic schedule and I could have a bit of a sleep in and catch up on a few other things.

At 11.00am I attended a seminar given by Ed Stout on Proper Theatre Organ Restoration Techniques. This was hilarious as Ed, who was been involved with rescuing and restoring theatre organs for nearly 60 years had many a story to tell - and he presented a slide show to go with his brilliant ranconteuring.

At 12.00 the Aussies had a brief meeting - which I had to leave early as I wanted to take in lunch before departing on our next bus ride.

At 1.00pm we went off to The St. Columban Church hall in Yelm where a recital was given on a 3/16 Robert Morton by Chris Gorsuch.

When Chris spoke he reminded be very much of Jack Benny - however his playing style was magical and the work of someone who has been mastering technique for a very long time.

Then we bussed off to the capital of Washington - Olympia and to the Washington Centre where Simon Gledhill (from the U.K.) gave a recital on the 3/25 Wurlitzer.

Simon took the organ through its paces and demonstrated good orchestration and style but the feeling was that perhaps he could have chosen better works?

Donald's Vacation 2010 Day 11 (1/7/2010)

2010-07-06T03:29:00.006+10:00

(I am writing this up in the American Airlines/Qantas/British Airways lounge in Terminal 4 at the Los Angeles Airport. I am using a public computer because after paying a hefty sum to use the Qantas Lounges they insist on me paying to use WiFi! - anyway more about getting here later...)

Today was another of those 'getting up very early days'. The buses were leaving at 7.00am so I had to get up at 5.30am in order to get breakfast in before getting on board.

After the last zimmer frame was loaded the bus departed for the Oaks Park Skating Rink way down in Portland in the next state - Oregon. Our driver couldn't find where it was so we did a bit of a tour around the area where it was supposed to be before eventually he located it.

In America ice-skating and roller-skating rinks had a Wurlitzer organ installed to play music for the skaters. Where we were today is apparently the last roller skating rink to have one installed.

The rink is in a very large wooden shed in the environs of a sort of miniature Luna Park.

The polished wooden floor the skaters roll around on is on a lift. It has to be as the area is flood prone and they have to be able to raise the floor as and when it becomes necessary.

It is a huge area and the console is in a glass booth in the middle of a promenade that encircles the rink itself.

The organ iself (a Wurlitzer 4/18) is not enclosed and is on a platform in the ceiling in the middle of the rink - so it plays without expression.

Our organist was a rather large, portly man dressed in evening clothes at 11.30 in the morning. He played most of the pieces in strict tempo as that is required by the skaters.

We were treated to a skating exhibition consisting of two couples and a single girl who whirled around on her lonesome. These people were champions at it and made it look so simple. I remember the one and only time I had roller skates on - I was too fat and the wheels on my skates wouldn't go around.

After the recital we went to a barbeque area near the rink and lined up to get our food plate filled with barbequed chicken and salad - and a can of soda or a bottle of water.

It did not take long for those at tables to enter into conversations with one another and a good time was had by all.

It had been raining slightly in the morning and we were lucky it held off for lunch. The weather here has been very mild and sometimes cold for a summer.

After lunch we went to our next venue which was a typical American school - The Cleveland High School where they had a very nice auditorium and a 3/21 Kimball organ.

Donna Parker - who used to play the organ at a Pizza Restaurant, gave us a splendid concert and was joined at the piano for a couple of numbers by a young man who specialises in ragtime music.

Then - we went to our third and last venue - probably saving the best for last. It was the First United Methodist Church of Portland where they have installed a huge 4/107 Classical organ which features quite a number of theatre ranks.

Jonas Norwall was the recitalist and he is also responsible for the growth of this organ. He gave a varied programme bringing out the best features of the organ. The highlight though was when he was joined by a young lady violiniste who gave Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto. A remarkable virtuoso performance.

At 6.00pm we were given a boxed dinner as we boarded our buses for the long drive back to Seattle where we arrived worn out shortly after 10.00pm.

Here are some photos taken at a rest stop along the way. We were afforded free coffee and/or lemonade. Note the special area for walking your doggie and the photograph of a tame chipmonk on the scrounge for food.

Donald's Vacation 2010 Day 10 (30/6/10)

2010-07-03T00:46:00.006+10:00

Again I had breakfast from the hotel's buffet and at 10.30am I wandered into one of the meeting rooms to a seminar to be given by theatre organist Julani Eddington who was to give a talk on arranging for the theatre organ demonstrating on an Allen Digital Organ.

I thought that it might be interesting from the point of view of helping me appreciate the music rather than me actually be involved in arranging - I can barely put two notes together as it is.

Jalani got us to listen to excepts of musical works from a CD and think about the key changes we were hearing, also the measures per bar, tempo, whether chords or single notes were being played and things like that. It was quite interesting actually - something you don't really think about when listening to music. He also demonstrated how you could take from the orchestration you heard and apply it to the the theatre organ.

At 1.00pm we yet again boarded a coach and headed off for Everett and to an old theatre that is still in the process of on-going renovations. This theatre houses a 3/16 Wurlitzer-Kimball.

The concert was given by what looked like a 14 year old kid - it was actually Nathan Avakian - a native of Portland who is 18. He was quite stunning as a musician and had amazing dexterity in his footwork.

As well as playing the theatre organ remarkably well - he composes and played us a couple of pieces he had written as accompaniment to two contemporary silent films made by students at the college he attends.

We were supposed to have seen the films with the accompaniment, but Uncle Frank in charge of the DVD player got everything stuffed up and the machine conked out.

Next Nathan went to the piano after bringing out his sister and the two of them sang some modern type song which to be honest ws not all that memorable, then Nathan playted piano whilst his sister treated us to a dance - which to me looked more like a calisthenics exhibition.

From this performance it was good to see that after all us old duffers are dead and gone there will still be another generation with an interest in the theatre organ.

From Everett we boarded the coaches to go to lunch at the Lakeway Inn. This was served in an enormous ballroom and consisted of a bread roll, a glass of water, salmon with rice and a couple of veg and a small piece of apple strude with coffee.

Then we got on the coaches again and went to Mt. Baker which is very near to the Canadian border.

We went inside the recently restored Mt. Baker theatre - which I would describe as a Moorish inspired semi-atmospheric. All the lighting was subtle and changeable through green, red, blue, violet and green.

The organ at this theatre is an original installtion from 1927 and is a 2/14 Wurlitzer. Today Lew Williams who eventually arrived on the console after a ride on one of the slowest lifts I had ever seen took us through its paces showing what you could get out of a relatively small instrument. He finished up with Freddie Mercury's "Bohemian Rhapsody"

It was a bit of a way to get back to the hotel and we didn't arrive back until 11.30pm - most of us by that time zombies on auto-pilot.

Donald's Vacation 2010 Day 9 (29/6/10)

2010-07-01T05:19:00.005+10:00

For once I did not have to get up at some ungodly hour and could sleep in to a 'normal' time - which I did with relish.

Breakfast today in the hotel, which is a buffet affair, as much as you want for $12.00 - quite reasonable and I even put up with the awful Starbucks coffee.

In the morning we boarded the coaches to do a Seattle "organ crawl". The first stop was the Haller Lake Community Club in some or other suburb. Here we were entertained by a silent picture - Buster Keaton in "Sherlock Jr" accompanied by Clark Wilson on a 3/8 Wurlitzer. A brilliantly thought-out accompaniment which made the overall performance a delight.

On leaving the hall we were given our boxed lunch and a boddle of water for eating and drinking later on as we were then whisked on our way to the next venue.

You know it is surprising the number of people here in the U.S. who own their own theatre pipe installed in their home - which to me is like running a steam train in your back yard. Our next stop was at the home of Jo-Anne and Bill Evans who have a 3/18 Wurlitzer in their music room. This was played by Bill Schumacher, a native of Sydney. (Jo-Anne and Bill have a connection with Australia and New Zealand going back 40 years.). The organ sounds from a solo chamber in a room from the right of the music room and some of the individual instruments are scattered throughout this room. I was sitting on the left hand side rather close to the console and the Marimba for example spoke from just behind the console - which was perhaps a little too close for comfort. Bill played a selection of show tunes with very nice registrations - just right for my ear.

On the bus again and back into town and to the Daniels Recital Hall (an old Methodist Church built in the Byzantine style) where we heard the 3/75 Austin Classical organ and a 4/32 digital Artisan theatre organ played by Mark Anderson. Not many were imrpressed with the electronic instrument which pailed into insignificance when compared to the brilliance of the pipe organ.

Finally we were taken to the Kenyon Hall and presented with a mini concert. Our MC Lou Magor introduce the 'first act' - Andy Crow at the 2/17 Wurlitzer. Andy is an old pro - shown out by his musical dexterity.

Next we had a black lady - who's name was not on the programme - sing us a very moving interpretation of "Summertime" from "Porgy & Bess" by Gershwin accompanied by Lou on piano.

Also on the platform were the singing couple Connie Corrick and husband Hugh Hastings who performed solo and in duets. Hugh sang one of my favourites - "September Song" - and Peter Mintun a jazz pianist from New York.

Lou came back to the piano at one point to lead a sing-a-long of "Side by Side" which we all joined in with - even myself (and I have the voice of a constipated cow). Then Lou did a solo extra verse with a hilarious parady.

This concert was an unexpected delight!

We ate our lunches on board the coach on the way back to the hotel. During our rides I had the company of Mike Foley who is in the organ trade and hails from Connecticut. We had a spirited conversation as we whiled away the travelling time talking on a myriad of subjects but mostly about music and organs of course. It's so good to have some subject matter in common, it makes rapport so much easier.

We had about an hour and a half back at the hotel to freshen up and for some of us wishing to set the tone - changing into clothing more suitable for evening wear to be worn inside a beautiful building.

Then it was off on the shuttle buses to the Paramount Theatre which was opened in 1928 and refurbished in the 1990's by a generous donatiopn of $40 million from Mrs. Cole.

This theatre is as it once was and is a gem. The 4/20 Wurlitzer is the original.

We all arrived at the theatre at about 6.00pm for the opening cocktail party. There was a small bar in the lobby where you queued up and bought your drinks. I just stuck to Clkub soda as I wanted to remain sober for the main concert later. There was supposed to be food as well available - but it was a very disappointing array of almost nothing.

It was wonderful wandering about the lobbys of this theatre, taking in all the intricate detail. On the upstairs promenade a grand piano was playing. On closer inspection this turned out to be a player - featuring duo-art rolls.

I got talking to a young lady who was in charge of one of the doors to the dress circle. She was adeptly fending off those who wished to go inside too early,. It was an interesting conversation as this girl had lived in Melbourne for a while and of course loved it and the theatre there.

Eventually at 7,45pm we were allowed in. I was lucky and was in the front of the stampede and was able to get a seat in the front of the dress circle. As is usual in America, it wasn't long before I was engaged in conversation with two women to my right - local Seattlians who were looking forward to hearing two Aussies in concert.

The concert featured Tony Fenelon and John Atwell - Tony at the piano doing duets with John at the organ as well as both of them doing solo spots.

The music was thrilling and the organ spoke brilliantly as the chambers were on either side of the proscenium arch - an early version of stereophony.

Tony showed us all he was equally fine as a classical pianist as well as a craftsman at the organ.

(I won't go through all the pieces played as quite frankly I have heard so many things played on organs in the last few days - I am liable, at my age, to get things all mixed up - let us just say here that everything that was played was wonderful).

After the concert we all piled back into the shuttle buses to the hotel and then a majority of the concert goers ended up in the bar on the 28th floor of the hotel. There I was at last able to get a plate of food for $6, have a couple of G&T's and engage in some pleasant conversation with some fellow Ausrtralians and an American couple from Virginia.

I wilted at midnight and went to my room but I believe a few went on past 2.00am - and some of them much, much older than I!